What defines a helicopter parent?

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

As an example, toddlers often stumble and fall. They will look at their parents for cues as to whether or not to be upset. I taught myself to say "Bingo!" whenever one of mine fell down, so they quickly learned to brush themselves off and get up again. Had I run with an icepack and band-aid to them every time they fell, they would have taken their cue from me and cried and wailed at every little bump. My rule - no blood, no band-aid.

This reminded me of a kid I used to babysit for who was top-heavy (had the biggest head in the world and a normal sized body). He would always fall down but never seriously get hurt and he would then look to me to decide if he should be upset or not. I made a point of saying things like "WOW! Wasn't that fun??? Such an adventure!" He would just laugh and carry on until the next time it happened.

[ForeverRoses]

I totally see a distinction between helicopter parent and worried parent.

In terms of recruitment, for me, and helicopter parent is one that found all the recs (and beats themselves up if they missed one), filled out all the forms and sent in everything themselves. They are also trying to tell their daughter what groups to go back to no matter what the kid wants.

A worried parent would have helped (but not taken the lead) get recs, reminded daughter to make sure to send everything in on time, and then is a sympathetic ear for the daughter when she is trying to make the decisions on her own. If the parent is greek, they might have tried to explain the system to their daughter.

I don't think helicopter parents are a new thing, I just think it is easier for parents to helicopter now with cell phones and the internet. When I was in college, helicoptering was limited to calling the dorm room phone. In fact my in-laws were total helicopter parents- they even tried once to ground my sister-in-law while she was away at college (it obviously didn't work). They told her she could go to class, the dining hall, and the library but other than that she had to be in her room. They would call the room periodically to make sure she was there, but her roomate would cover for her if she wasn't.