I am sorry you're so upset. And I'm going to sound really insensitive by saying this, but I'll just say it: Put up or shut up. The fact that you're requiring hospitalization because you're stressed out over the way your mom is spending her own money on something she is doing for YOU is a bit ridiculous. Let your parents have their gala event. Afterward, have a great reception with the people you want. Everyone wins.
The marriage is the important thing. The wedding is merely an opportunity to bring together all of the important people in your lives and your families lives for one day. If the idea of your mom planning this event makes you physically ill, I think you need to step back and think about what is really important here: your relationship with your parents who are footing the bill for this soiree or getting everything your way and not having to put any money toward it. Like it or not, there's no such thing as a free lunch.
I really hope you do feel better!!!
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