I Don't Date Outside of My Race...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by TotallyWicked

this is an issue on campus as there are about as many Black women as there are Latinas. I think it is an unspoken one though, like neither is willing to say something but I have had some conversations with my Black female and Latina friends.

Many of the Black women I talk to cannot stand that Black men are dating Latinas when there are just as many Black women on campus. Many of what my friends have said is "they seem to be going with them for the same attributes they can get with us", mind you there are very little Black Latinas and the majority are white of Mestiza (Indigenous/White..which ultimately leads em to be darker skinned than European Latinas).

Now other Black women have been telling me, "I'm okay with it, I ultimately don't like Black men gettin with white women when there are women of color around him". I know the main thing that perturbs Black women when Black males date Latinas on campus is when Black men (not all) tell them that they have 'more in common because of upbringing' with Latinas than they do Black women, this could be a class issue as my school has been able to recruit more inner city urban Latinos but has gotten way more middle class Black students than Latinos.

It's a mouthful open to more questions but I'm all ears

I really do not understand what you are saying.

I have dated NUMEROUS Latino gentlemen before I was married. It just was because those were the gentlemen that asked me out for a date.

And those Black men who say that [Insert your ethnic group here] is "more common because of their upbringing" are full of chit... There are just as many or possibly more Black women of similar or better upbringing than these men purport. These Black men generalizing Black women in that way is demeaning and belittling--and moreso toward ALL WOMEN!!! And I am wondering how women from varying ethnic groups would see anything possible in these dumbassed men?

I mean, am I missing something? Some these men are assholes! They don't deserve even the fake European trannie punanny!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

And those Black men who say that [Insert your ethnic group here] is "more common because of their upbringing" are full of chit... There are just as many or possibly more Black women of similar or better upbringing than these men purport. These Black men generalizing Black women in that way is demeaning and belittling--and moreso toward ALL WOMEN!!!

These are people on a college campus. They are judging based on that campus bubble. I doubt those collegiates have a grasp of the totality of the matter.

[teena]

I admit, way back, I used to take issue with black men who dated non black women. My life experience has made me much more tolerant for a number of reasons. But the one I like the most is that 99.9999999 times out of 100, a black man who denigrates black women, he has a gang of head issues and I dont want to be bothered with him anyway.

I may be naive, but I dont thing that most black women object to interacial love. I think what many black women object to is being disrespected when black men choose to date outside of the race.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

These are people on a college campus. They are judging based on that campus bubble. I doubt those collegiates have a grasp of the totality of the matter.

The bubble is a non issue to me. Unfortunately these men graduate or leave college and bring that mentality to their jobs/careers furthering some of the institutionalized bigotry and racism in that "good ole boys club/network"...

How different is it when a young college teenaged Black male says generalizations like these versus late 20's/early 30's college educated Black male who says it that is likely pursue marriage/longterm relationship?

I tell you what, I would not want to seriously date, leading to a longterm relationship with someone thinking that mentality no matter what age he is...

Originally Posted by teena

But the one I like the most is that 99.9999999 times out of 100, a black man who denigrates black women, he has a gang of head issues and I dont want to be bothered with him anyway.

Now that is what I am saying. The brotherman who has decided to date seriously my EX-sister in law said some crap like this to my Ex-SIL... I think she was taken aback with his comment enough to tell my mother--her former MIL...

Originally Posted by teena

I may be naive, but I dont thing that most black women object to interacial love. I think what many black women object to is being disrespected when black men choose to date outside of the race.

Sadly, these same men do not think they are disrespecting Black women by their choices. Or rather, they plainly do not care. While I understand your point, I would like to add a clarification: It is NOT the disrespect of choices of who a Black man dates that a sistah has issues with; it is the further demonizing, denigration, beatdown, browbeating, belittling and outright discriminatory practices that Black men do against the Black woman--the same woman who bore Black men in her womb and exited her vaginal canal to enter this realm of the Earth that I have problem with...

Hayle, Black women could choose to abort Black male fetuses, because we decide to buy into the craziness that the stats are far against him? Albeit, it does not seem to be the case. With one full swoop, Sistahs can take out an entire Universe of Black men... That is a power very few recognize--like a 5%'er... Sometimes that thought is a revelation and sometimes it is a burden. Like Assata Shakur.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

The bubble is a non issue to me. Unfortunately these men graduate or leave college and bring that mentality to their jobs/careers furthering some of the institutionalized bigotry and racism in that "good ole boys club/network"...

How different is it when a young college teenaged Black male says generalizations like these versus late 20's/early 30's college educated Black male who says it that is likely pursue marriage/longterm relationship?

I tell you what, I would not want to seriously date, leading to a longterm relationship with someone thinking that mentality no matter what age he is..

I am responding to your comment about being able to find black women of a similar background. These men are using the campus as their pool of potentials. So, whether or not there are black women who share their experiences off campus isn't what they are considering in that context. And whether or not they don't connect with black women when they graduate is unpredictable. People relate to and date what they are exposed to and their campus is what they're exposed to right now. And I don't think those men (based on what Totally Wicked said) are saying that Latina women are necessarily better than black women beyond the similar background (which doesn't seem like such a compliment, really) thing.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

I am responding to your comment about being able to find black women of a similar background. These men are using the campus as their pool of potentials. So, whether or not there are black women who share their experiences off campus isn't what they are considering in that context. And whether or not they don't connect with black women when they graduate is unpredictable. People relate to and date what they are exposed to and their campus is what they're exposed to right now. And I don't think those men (based on what Totally Wicked said) are saying that Latina women are necessarily better than black women beyond the similar background (which doesn't seem like such a compliment, really) thing.

Well I interpreted Totally Wicked's comment to state that Black men are saying they cannot find Black women with similar upbringing as theirs on a college campus that they can date. So, they date "other women" because that is similar to their upbringing as theirs. What I am saying that these men are full of shit, regardless to make a blanket statement. And if they start when their young and not be held accountable for their thoughts, then how will they be any different as they age?

Ignorance breed contempt... And is not always bliss--in fact it might get you killed. One less person contributing to the gene pool...

What is sad is it is justifies a Black man's choice to be anything other than he wants to date {insert ethnic group here}. I don't think anyone is saying here they have issues with personal choices. Hayle a man can date a goat for all I care, but to say that Black women stink worse than goats, well...

I agree, it is not much of a compliment, though... And it is said that these ladies are buying that bullcrap these kind of bruhs are "rappin'" to them... Like Reefer and Liquor...

[TotallyWicked]

Well, from what folks have told me (Black men and Latinas that date one another), is that they do go with one another because of similar backgrounds...SES speaking, but I DO find it interesting, as some couple friends of mine are from areas of the country that are highly racially homogenous and/or segregated.

For example, a couple friend of mine is composed of a Mexican American woman from Los Angeles and an African American man from Detroit. Both have told me they were raised in low income neighborhoods and that they also were raised in neighborhoods and attended public schools of which their racial/ethnic group was either the majority or the entire make up of the school. Thus, coming to college was their first exposure to mass diversity (my school is located on the 2nd most diverse neighborhood in the nation).

Now there are several ways to look at this:
1) they are going for the first person who is unlike them racially/ethnically because of their past experiences
2) they are embracing the diversity of the neighborhood (reaching I know ) 3) They grew up not wanting to be with someone of their racial/ethnic group

and various more...in the long run, I am hoping that my friends are aware of the consequences and possible reactions of people...some of my other friends really go all out to say "Yeah, we're dating and you can't do anything about it!"....I'm like ok..pass the salt LOL

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Well I interpreted Totally Wicked's comment to state that Black men are saying they cannot find Black women with similar upbringing as theirs on a college campus that they can date. So, they date "other women" because that is similar to their upbringing as theirs. What I am saying that these men are full of shit, regardless to make a blanket statement. And if they start when their young and not be held accountable for their thoughts, then how will they be any different as they age?

Ignorance breed contempt... And is not always bliss--in fact it might get you killed. One less person contributing to the gene pool...

What is sad is it is justifies a Black man's choice to be anything other than he wants to date {insert ethnic group here}. I don't think anyone is saying here they have issues with personal choices. Hayle a man can date a goat for all I care, but to say that Black women stink worse than goats, well...

Well, hopefully and chances are, this is just because of that campus climate and they haven't "sold their souls." Out of that campus climate, they would be more able to find black women of their social class and experience background. Maybe.

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

I agree, it is not much of a compliment, though... And it is said that these ladies are buying that bullcrap these kind of bruhs are "rappin'" to them... Like Reefer and Liquor...

"Well, well, well...the gang's all here...bring out the 40's."
~Shelby ~The Best Man~