Question about lavaliering...

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by tenor1255

Hello!

I am a senior, about to graduate. I am also gay. I want to lavalier my best friend, a female, because she would be the girl that I would spend the rest of my life with if I were heterosexual. I think this may fly in the face of tradition, but my case isn't exactly something that the rules apply to. I wanted to get some opinions, and didn't want to talk to my own brothers until I knew more.

Thanks Brothers
In ZAX

Ok, well I'll give a girl's opinion... on the female side "getting lavaliered" was a big deal (at least for my chapter/when I was in school) because it meant you were 'serious' with your boyfriend AND he acknowledged it. I think your intent is really sweet, you're almost making it a "friendship lavalier", but yeah, that doesn't really "fit" with the usual greek org. traditions. Is your goal to do it before school is over so you go through the regular fraternity traditions when a guy gives a girl his lavaliere? And is she in a sorority, so are you hoping she'll get a candlelighting? Because I don't really think that should be your goal here and I wouldn't count on the orgs seeing it that way either. Could you wait until after graduation and give it to her as just a thanks/i love you, friend, gift? Once you're out of school some of the boyfriend-to-girlfriend significance might be lessened.

[LXA grits]

In my humble opinion, I think that a lavalier would be the wrong way to go. Instead, I think a "Friendship Pin" would be more appropriate. As afar as I know, a lavalier isn't an official recognition symbol of the fraternity. A far better choice for you to present your female friend with, would be the piece fo jewelry found here.

(or cheaper here.)

The "goal" that a lot of women seek in our jewelry (if I can be so modest for our bond), is to obtain an official brotherhood badge. Short of proposing to this girl, she can't get one of these from you. Instead, here's an explanation of the badge that would be much more appropriate for you to give her:

The Friendship Badge

The cross and crescent with shield bearing the Greek letters pin was originally designed to be worn by girlfriends of members when the relationship had not yet reached the state of engagement or marriage. Today, the pin also is worn by members who have not purchased a badge, or by members who prefer its design.

and (another explanation from another website)

The Friendship Badge, created by Jack Mason following controversy over whether sisters, housemothers, and steady girlfriends could wear the badge, is a crucicrescent with a shield superimposed and the letters of the Fraternity written onto it. Created by Balfour, it “carries no promise of protection from the Fraternity, and is simply a casual compliment. It does not require the salute of removing one’s hat…”


So, it's a bit more casual than the badge you give to a wife, but it still symbolizes your affection to your female friend. I'm sure she would appreciate this badge a great deal. Since I have not proposed to my girlfriend (yet?), I have not given her a badge. Instead, I gave her the friendship pin, and she wears it proudly. The lavalier can come later...like I said, it's not an official LCA piece, so it doesn't carry as much value as the previously discussed ones.

Good luck!

Yours in Z A X ,