dating a sweetheart and I'm NOT a greek

[PhiGam]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

Just curious, if your sweetheart is not dating a member and she is invitedto a date function, can she bring any date that she wants? So say your sweetheart starts dating a guy in another fraternity, is he able to go to your date parties?

No, she goes with guys who have dates cancel at the last minute. She also finds like five guys dates from her sorority for all of our functions.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PhiGam

No, she goes with guys who have dates cancel at the last minute. She also finds like five guys dates from her sorority for all of our functions.

ok, who are the 5 guys and why can't they find their own dates?

I dated the Tri Sig sweetheart for a while. I don't think they would have been too jazzed about me coming to a date party, LOL.

[Jestor]

Originally Posted by 33girl

ok, who are the 5 guys and why can't they find their own dates?

This strikes as a touch of snobbery going on here.

Not all Greeks are the most outgoing and social of people and so don't have as large a pool to draw from.

Or it might be that the guys have asked several girls, but the girls have legitimate reasons for not being able to attend.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Jestor

This strikes as a touch of snobbery going on here.

It strikes as asking why sweethearts are being used as a dating service.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

Just curious, if your sweetheart is not dating a member and she is invited to a date function, can she bring any date that she wants? So say your sweetheart starts dating a guy in another fraternity, is he able to go to your date parties?

I would say that with most Sigma Chi chapters, the Sweetheart could bring a date. And I would guess some have. However, I have never known a Sweetheart to do so. Frankly, while some might, I would be surprised if a member of another fraternity would want to attend another fraternity's date party in the first place.

Originally Posted by PhiGam

No, she goes with guys who have dates cancel at the last minute. She also finds like five guys dates from her sorority for all of our functions.

This is the scenario I am most familiar with.

Originally Posted by 33girl

ok, who are the 5 guys and why can't they find their own dates?

In addition to what others have said, I saw the following situation more than a few times. A brother would be dating someone at another school and their "steady" was unable to attend. The Sweetheart (someone both he *and* his steady trusts) helps him get a date. Someone he might know as a friend and could go to the function and have a good time without any worry about "hooking up". This is much better than him ending up with some random girl that may not have his best interest (much less his girlfriend's) in mind.

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

It strikes as asking why sweethearts are being used as a dating service.

Among other reasons, Sweethearts are elected because of their friendship with members of the chapter. As such, most help their friends (chapter members) out of the genuine goodness of their heart. I would hope that a woman would be able to do so (help her friends) and not be viewed as being used or as some sort of a dating service.

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by TSteven

In addition to what others have said, I saw the following situation more than a few times. A brother would be dating someone at another school and their "steady" was unable to attend. The Sweetheart (someone both he *and* his steady trusts) helps him get a date. Someone he might know as a friend and could go to the function and have a good time without any worry about "hooking up". This is much better than him ending up with some random girl that may not have his best interest (much less his girlfriend's) in mind.

Among other reasons, Sweethearts are elected because of their friendship with members of the chapter. As such, most help their friends (chapter members) out of the genuine goodness of their heart. I would hope that a woman would be able to do so (help her friends) and not be viewed as being used or as some sort of a dating service.

You're not getting it... If a guy has a steady girlfriend and she can't go to the formal, why the heck would he take someone else? Even if she can't go and is cool with him taking a non-romantic date, what the heck kind of guys is the group taking if there's a chance that he chooses his own date that he'll hook up with her? Why would the Sweetheart choosing make it less likely that he'd hook up with his date? Is she going out of her way to choose ugly or awkward women? Why would a member in a relationship automatically take a "random girl" that "may not have his best interest in mind" if he chooses his own date? That just speaks to the poor taste of YOUR members, not the skills and kindness of the Sweetheart.

Furthermore, I think a lot of us are asking, why is it the Sweetheart's job to get him a date? No offense, but what if your fraternity bids a weirdo or something? Does the Sweetheart have to go with him to every formal then, assuming he can't get a date?

None of the orgs at my school had sweethearts and I'm not much liking the sound of them. It sounds lame... I sure as heck would not want to be sweetheart if I'm going to have to find lame guys dates or something. I know you're actually trying to defend the idea that sweethearts are classy and not groupies but actually your words are making me think that they ARE. But I don't have any experience with it so who knows?

[TSteven]

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[PhiGam]

Originally Posted by 33girl

ok, who are the 5 guys and why can't they find their own dates?

I dated the Tri Sig sweetheart for a while. I don't think they would have been too jazzed about me coming to a date party, LOL.

Sometimes people just don't have dates for one reason or another and she wants us to meet as many girls in her sorority as possible to improve relations, they're actually our homecoming partners for next year so its good to meet them now.
Maybe GLOs aren't as big where you're from, they have 150+ girls so its impossible to know them all and when you have 93 guys in your house, occasionally a few of them don't have dates.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PhiGam

Sometimes people just don't have dates for one reason or another and she wants us to meet as many girls in her sorority as possible to improve relations, they're actually our homecoming partners for next year so its good to meet them now.

I asked because it sounded like you were saying it was the same 5 guys every time and she had to keep setting them up. I understand being shy but if semester after semester a guy can't get a date that might be a problem.

But I get what you're saying now.

As for not having a date to formal, well, girls can do that because they jump around and dance with each other. Guys not so much. If I was dating a fraternity guy & couldn't go for some reason, I would rather have the sweetheart set him up rather than have him call 1-800-4SKANKS.

And just to point out...this has NOTHING to do w/ the original post as NPHC "sweethearts" and NIC sweethearts are 2 very different things.