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02-10-2008, 01:48 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: ooooooh snap!
Posts: 11,156
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this is seriously the best thread ever on GC!
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02-10-2008, 03:11 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: none of your goddamn business
Posts: 39
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Chuck's final installment...
Last night it was late when Chuck filled out his bid card. Chuck filled out his own name three times because “Chuck Norris” is never wrong.
Chuck was up all night making plans for a quintuple-bladed extinction crown, a saber-toothed death kite, and venom-infused, blow-dart arrows.
Chuck was starting to question the infinite wisdom that inspired his creative bid day card at 7 a.m. when … the phone rang. Chuck had heard about the phone calls on bid day and his bicepts started to swell in the purest fury he had ever known. The seams of his favorite Bratz pajamas began to rip open thread by thread.
Chuck played it cool, though, and answered as he usually does: “You have ten seconds to identify yourself or die.”
A lady’s voice answered. “This is Julie Burkhard, your Rho Chi. We’ve had a bid matching issue we’d like to talk to you about before we can give any of the other PNMs bids. Would you come down, please?”
Chuck was there in less than 60 seconds, not because he was in a hurry. In fact, Chuck could have been there earlier if he hadn’t been accessorizing. Chuck can be anywhere in the world in less than 60 seconds.
When Chuck arrived, Ms. Burkhard looked very relieved to see him. She said, “Chuck, we really need your help. We entered your information into our bid matching software and I don’t know how to tell you this, but our system crashed. I guess we just weren’t prepared for Chuck Norris to be placed in the mutual selection process. It was likely our fault for assuming the software could handle you. Well, I am sorry to say that the software did not match your bid before it began to inexplicably ooze bullets and blood from the back of the computer. So, I talked to all the groups, and it turns out that they all would like Chuck as a sister. Here are your bid cards.”
Chuck started to flip through the cards, and then became confused. Why was there a squirrel on one of Chuck’s bids? A turtle, too? Was this a joke? Chuck likes jokes about as much as he likes the stepford-posts on HPRL. Chuck counted the cards – there were 26. Chuck asked Ms. Burkhard about it, she replied, “Oh I forgot to tell you. Something else rather unprecedented happen. Your entire PNM group refused to name organizations on their bid card. If there were just a few, we’d just refuse to put them in the system, but each of them wrote “I want what Chuck wants.” The whole situation is rather unheard of, so I started making some calls to find out what to do. Once it got out to the other NPC organizations that Chuck Norris was going through recruitment, suddenly everyone wanted to colonize here if it meant Chuck Norris would be their first new member. While I personally do not think this is the best solution, anything else would risk a complete revolution by the unrepresented sororities. I’m afraid that telling them no would have been the end of NPC! So, I hope you choose wisely, Chuck.
Chuck was blown away. Sure Chuck had something special with kung fu Theta, but what more did he have in common with the other thetas besides politics? Didn’t he want something more out of sisterhood? And sure the Zetas were nice, but Chuck isn’t so sure the members he met were worldly enough. And while the Pi Phis were thoughtful, did Chuck really want to make a lifetime commitment over a gun-cookie? Chuck had made forum-friends on GC with sisters from all of the groups, and Chuck really didn’t want to limit himself to the sororities on campus. In fact, it started to seem more Chuck-like to bring his entire PNM group with him and start a new chapter on campus with all new Chucktastic traditions.
Chuck didn’t know how he felt as he flipped through the cards. Then… one of the bid cards, in cerulean blue, stood out. It said:
“Chuck, we’d like to invite you to join our Delta Force.”
It went on: “Since 1888, we think our founders were building up for Chuck to take us into the 21st century in style.”
Chuck was touched. Chuck is now proud to become a colonizing new member…
of…
Delta
Delta
Delta!
Chuck thanks everyone for encouraging in the process and hopes that all of Chuck’s GC fans will be happy for him. Chuck looks forward to being a Panhellenic sister to all of his NPC friends. Chuck pledges to protect the entire NPC from the Axis of Evil!
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02-10-2008, 03:18 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: ooooooh snap!
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Congratulations Chuck Norris. I hope you and Tri Delta have a beautiful life long bond!
I'm not going to lie... that ending threw me for a loop. I thought Chuck Norris wasn't a pansy?  
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02-10-2008, 03:22 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: none of your goddamn business
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texas*princess
Congratulations Chuck Norris. I hope you and Tri Delta have a beautiful life long bond!
I'm not going to lie... that ending threw me for a loop. I thought Chuck Norris wasn't a pansy? |
Chuck Norris knew someone would bring this up (sigh). Chuck Norris is not a pansy... Chuck Norris is the giant Sequoia tree surrounded by pansies.
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02-11-2008, 01:06 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: in a far end of town where the grickle grass grows
Posts: 2,942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris knew someone would bring this up (sigh). Chuck Norris is not a pansy... Chuck Norris is the giant Sequoia tree surrounded by pansies.
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That would be a giant Pine Tree surrounded by pansies.
Welcome to Delta Delta Delta!
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Just keep swimming
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02-11-2008, 10:26 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: chicago, il
Posts: 5,115
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I always thought that Chuck Norris was more like a lion. 
__________________
alpha delta pi
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02-11-2008, 11:55 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USS Insanity
Posts: 4,977
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD
That would be a giant Pine Tree surrounded by pansies.
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You really shouldn't correct Chuck Norris. Didn't you know that Chuck Norris is NEVER wrong? He reserves the right to change the symbols of your GLO.
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By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she is wrong.
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02-10-2008, 03:18 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: chicago, il
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LOL! Chuck is a Tri Delt!!
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alpha delta pi
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02-10-2008, 03:21 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USS Insanity
Posts: 4,977
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YAY Chuck!
I can see you kicking ass and taking names with your trident of justice.
Still, it would have been cool to have you as a Sig Kap so you can hurl our snake around.
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By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she is wrong.
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02-10-2008, 03:19 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: naples, florida
Posts: 18,715
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congratulations chuck-although i must admit i am crushed that i can only call you a panhellenic sister. well, that...... and protector of npc.
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I live in Fantasyland and I have waterfront property.
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02-10-2008, 03:27 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 22,590
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck Norris
The seams of his favorite Bratz pajamas began to rip open thread by thread.
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__________________
I am a woman, I make mistakes. I make them often. God has given me a talent and that's it. ~ Jill Scott
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02-10-2008, 03:32 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 749
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DELTA....
Aww, I got my hopes up...for nothing.
Oh, well, Chuck, congrats on your bid. Oh-what did you bid shirt say?
__________________
Alpha Delta Pi...a Lasting Legacy of Southern Tradition...
Proud to be a Macon Magnolia!
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02-11-2008, 01:02 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Someplace fabulous!
Posts: 2,789
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck Norris
“You have ten seconds to identify yourself or die.”
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I SO want to answer the telephone with this!
Congratulations on Tri Delta, Chuck! 
__________________
Kappa Delta
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02-11-2008, 03:24 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,650
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Anne
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chuck Norris
“You have ten seconds to identify yourself or die.”
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I SO want to answer the telephone with this!
Congratulations on Tri Delta, Chuck!
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I guess that's better than "Delta Delta Delta, Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?"
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....but some are more equal than others.
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02-11-2008, 03:50 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 651
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Exactly what I was thinking! (Although I love those sketches)
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