Pledge shouldn't have dropped NEED HELP

[REE1993]

Originally Posted by phi8748a

Hey Everyone,

I'm in a fraternity and one of our pledges who is my lil bro in the house (doesn't know it yet) and depledged but didn't want to. He got a $400 speeding ticket and now can't afford the house thats why he had to drop. This kid is an amazing person who would be great for our house and we share many things in common and even though he says he will rush in spring there are already other fraternities after him. I've already told him that i would pay for his ticket but he has too much pride t take it. I'm having lunch with him in an hour.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I think that the kid has a good head on his shoulders to face to consequences of his ticket. On the other hand, you sound like an awesome brother to offer to pay for it (not sure if you expect it back). Maybe "give" it to him but tell him you will accept a payment plan. THat way he will understand that a helping hand is not something to take advantage of.

In the end, one's pride is pretty hard to break. Tell him you will be there for him as a friend if he decides to depledge, and don't renig on that. Lastly, there might be more going on than that ticket. Talk to him, but let him feel free to make up his mind.

[Tom Earp]

$400 speeding ticket?
I find that hard to believe but depending on which if any kangaroo court he may have been in there seems to maybe more than speed involved.

Something does not seem to fit here. Could it be an excuse? I do not know or will even try to say.

As was said, hold him over till the next semester and see if he gets everything worked out. If he is interested, then that will show the true feelings he has. If you loan money, you may or may not get it back and can you afford that?

You can only hope for the best. Good luck.

[PsychTau2]

Tom makes a good point...is he using the ticket as his "excuse" to leave the chapter? Especially if he says he will "rerush" in the Spring (not sure if that's his words or yours). If it were me in that situation and I really wanted to be initiated, I would have said something like "I cannot afford the initiation fees this semester but I do not want to leave the organization. What are my options? Can I be initiated next semester when I can afford the fees?"

I'm going to guess that a lot (maybe not all) organizations have something in place where someone can delay/defer their initiation for a semester, depending on the circumstances (as opposed to completely withdrawing from the org and having to be reissued a bid). Check with your national constitution/bylaws/guiding documents and see if that is a possibility.

Bottom line is that all you can do is to CORRECTLY inform him of his options, and then let him decide. If he truly wants to be a member of your organization he'll figure out a way to make that happen, whether it's this semester or next spring or next fall.

(On a side note...if the time on your post is correct, you sure are having a late lunch! It shows that you posted at 6:21pm on 10/29...maybe my time zone thingy is not set right though....)