Minorities and Suicide

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

i am worried sick about one of my girls.

last night she called and told me she wasn't sure if she was going to make it too much longer. she's started planning her OWN funeral, and she's just "not in the mood to deal with too much more." - - her words.

i know i can't "make" her talk to a professional, but are there any suggestions as to convincing a loved one to seek help / therapy?

What happened to your friend? Did she ever get help?

The professionals call it "defraying". Usually, it works best on a very angry person. If there is an issue, one can "defray" its escalation by redirecting what the person is doing or thinking--usually, doing something totally different that expected.

For example:

A friend of mine was a counselor at a teen home for abused children with mental disorders, one of the young men was angry about something and the anger escalated.

So rather than breaking it up, my friend asked the angry young man, "Hey, do you want to help me get this Christmas Tree outside?" (He said it in terms of a directive--which is key). The young man, thought about it and left with my friend to remove him from the anger escalation.

That way, a trained professional can calmly talk with the client to get one side of what is going on... Defraying any ensuing fight.

We can always practice diplomacy and conflict resolution...

[Still BLUTANG]

Thank you for asking.

We're still dealing with her mother's death, but my friend is doing so much better. I think the weekend that I wrote that post, another friend and I just showed up on her doorstep, said get dressed and get out of this house. She knows we will not hesitate to show up and show out. This was about a year ago.

She has been to counseling and is finding ways to work through her grief. I am so glad that she was able to speak with a professional about everything. There is NO SHAME in seeking help. I think for a while she was fighting that battle because she didnt want to ask for help, neither did she want to accept the help that was being offered. We just had to be there (many sleepless nights) until she got to the point where she realized it was o.k. to not go through it alone.

Some days she's optimistic and making plans for the future... other days are o.k. at best. Holidays, birthdays, and other special days we remember are rough but she's holding on strong. She is back at work and has even picked up her involvement in Girl Scouts and is a troop leader. She has a web of support and i think between her cousins, her friends, and her colleagues we all will catch any signs that something is out of the ordinary and address it head on.