Speak up or bite my tongue?

[adpiucf]

I agree with you, UGA, that people probably wouldn't be comfortable, but that is what makes me crazy-- Being direct is so much more effective to nip things in the bud. They might not be very nice about it, and they might talk smack about me after I left the table, but I'd bet money that they would think twice about what they say after that. And they'd probably tell other people about their experience-- which would make those people think twice about what they say, as well.

If I said something to my friends and someone overheard it and called me out on it then and there, I'd probably be so embarrassed that I'd watch my P's and Q's 24/7-- much more so than if my president had a private chat with me 2 weeks later or the chapter had to go through a workshop on "Public Relations" (I'd have likely forgotten I ever had such a conversation by that time).

Women are encouraged to be such passive creatures. We're encouraged to never directly confront situations. I hate that -- it severely limits us in our relationships with others, at work, you name it. Men have a serious leg up on us in that respect. Someone ticks them off-- they tell them.

If you have a problem with someone, even a stranger, and there's very little chance that person will retaliate against you, just you owe it yourself to tell them you were offended by their behavior.

Why? They'll be shocked into reality-- and you will probably do much more good by being direct-- both to empower yourself and to correct the other person while she is in the act.