Need Advice

UGAalum94 · #1 08-25-2007, 10:18 AM

Another thing to keep in mind is that although you hope all Greek members are involved, the first semester is its own level of intensity. There probably won't be a time in the future when every time the member does something with the group she comes home with lettered items or when letters and group paraphernalia figure quite as much into living space decor. (I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to love all things Greek, especially your first semester, but 1st semester might involve a different level of intensity.)

So, while the roommate isn't acting right, and joining something together will probably help with that, some of the situation may resolve itself simply as new member period progresses.

mystikchick · #2 08-25-2007, 10:24 AM

The roommate is probably just insecure about losing one of the first people she's had a chance to get to know at college, and I agree with everyone else that it'll hopefully get better over the course of the semester, as she adjusts and her insecurities fade. Your daughter sounds like she's handling this in a very mature way, so kudos to her. And who knows, maybe they can reach a point where your daughter can introduce her roomie to a sister of hers who has similar interests and roomie will see that your daughter's sisters are not scary people out to steal her friend away, but nice people that she can be friends with as well. College adjustment is hard and stressful!

Senusret I · #3 08-25-2007, 10:49 AM

Maybe your daughter really is acting different now that she's in a sorority and the roommate just needs some space and time. You're not in the room with her so you couldn't possibly know the whole story.

flower3 · #4 08-25-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Maybe your daughter really is acting different now that she's in a sorority and the roommate just needs some space and time. You're not in the room with her so you couldn't possibly know the whole story.

You may be right. I am not there in the room with my D, nor do I want to be. I have had my college experience and this is hers. I can only go on what she tells me. She really wants this to work because she and her roomie have been really close for the last few years. Maybe it was not the best idea for them to room together. I don't know. I just want them both to be happy no matter what the outcome.

AlethiaSi · #5 08-25-2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flower3

You may be right. I am not there in the room with my D, nor do I want to be. I have had my college experience and this is hers. I can only go on what she tells me. She really wants this to work because she and her roomie have been really close for the last few years. Maybe it was not the best idea for them to room together. I don't know. I just want them both to be happy no matter what the outcome.

I know that with my friends, we weren't necessarily as close as before I pledged, but they were also very involved in their org as well (which is a different situation, i know) We also made an effort to get together for dinner, lunch, breakfast like 3/4 times a week and go to a party on the weekends together. Once I moved into the house, we really didn't see each other, but we're still good friends... I hope that doesn't happen with your daughter and so I would definitely go with what everyone else said, join a mutual group to be involved in and also make her friend understand that she's not leaving her.

Scandia · #6 08-25-2007, 12:09 PM

A lot of my relatives, friends, and colleagues have quite an aversion to GLOs. However, if she learned more about what being in a GLO truly entails (and not the negative stereotypes), it would make a huge difference. I think that treating the GLO as another club you belong to can help- not as a prize for being popular and pretty or anything like that.

flower3 · #7 08-25-2007, 12:22 PM

As a mom I will stay supportive but let them work it out themselves. I am sure things will get better as the year goes on and they get more involved with academics and joining other organizations. But as a mom I hate to see either one of them unhappy or having problems so soon. I might be making a bigger deal of this than the situation calls for. I sure hate getting those late night calls though from a distressed child. Only time will tell. Thanks to all.

teeroze · #8 08-25-2007, 05:57 PM

I tell my daughters, if you look for perfect people for friends, you will have none.

I'm Assuming they were good friends before rooming together. If this is the case, then encouraging your daughter to bail on her friend at this point is, in my opinion, sending the wrong message. There is probably an underlying reason why her friend is acting this way, and it should pass, once they adjust and continue to do things together.

I had a daughter in a similar (reverse) situation relative to sorority stuff. Though it was tough, her roomie stuck by her. Today, they are the best of friends. My daughter knows her old roomie is a friend that will be there even when she's not perfect. It works in reverse too, because at other times, my daughter has stood by her old roomie when she's not acting so perfect. That's what friendship is about.