Re-Rushing

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by prospective88

Hi All
1. If i get a bid from Alpha and Beta, and accept Beta's bid, how will that make Alpha feel after all the nice things they said to me after rush.

The Alphas might feel bad, but it's how it works. It happens all the time. They should get over it, especially with time. We had plenty of girls that we absolutely loved go to our "competition" sorority (I say this in jest, our chapters got along well and they were always complaining to us how we'd get "their girls") and at the end of the day there were really no hard feelings.

2. If i rush Beta, i fear they might be like: we didn't want you the first time, cant you take no for an answer? Even though i hang out with them does not nec. mean they want me to be a sister....

That's true, just because you hang out with them doesn't necessarily mean they want you as a sister, but it's a whole lot better of a sign than if they didn't want to spend time with you at all. There are plenty of women in this world that go through recruitment two or even three times before ending up in a sorority that they love. Sometimes its the one they've loved from the beginning, sometimes it wasn't. Crazy things can happen, and PNMs that are friends with lots of women in a chapter can slip through the cracks. In MANY cases, these women who have tons of friends in the chapter and for whatever reason got cut have a lot better success rate the second go around. No promises, of course, but doesn't that make sense?

In terms of how they'd think about you for going through recruitment twice....well, you have to take an honest look about how the Betas treat you now:

Bad signs: You get hunches that people think you're acting "desperate," some sisters are cordial to you but others ignore you or make no effort to get to know you, you make a bad showing of yourself at the clubs, the sisters only call you to come party, Betas have openly encouraged you to try COBing at other chapters (and not just in the "Panhellenic spirit" -- but by repeatedly saying stuff like "Wow, we really think you'd fit in well with the Gammas" or whatever), they don't openly talk about upcoming COB events with you, and so on.

I really hope none of that applies to your situation.

Good signs: You hang out with Betas one-on-one, you have great conversations with many of the women, you never feel like you're acting fake or putting on airs around them, you're comfortable in a large group of the sisters because they seem genuinely interested in getting to know you, they call/IM/text you just to say hi, they openly encourage you to try COBing with them in the fall, you know many of the women in the chapter by name and they greet you with a smile whenever you pass them on campus, and so on.

3. I cannot help but feel bitter that Beta did not invite to pref night. What about me did they not like?

In the interest of balance, I will say that there were plenty of women that we cut before prefs because they simply weren't right, but I can name five of my very treasured sisters off the top of my head that were cut early on in recruitment and ended up joining later via COB or a second formal recruitment. If the Betas aren't acting like they dislike you, then they probably like you just fine. Whether or not that will result in you receiving a bid is entirely unknown, but it's a start.

4. If i accept Alpha's bid over Beta, will the Beta girls stop talking to me now?

If the Alphas freeze you out if you choose the Betas, then they were probably acting unscrupulously to begin with (e.g. dirty rushing, getting dangerously close to bid promising). Would you really want to join a chapter that is mean to women on their campus just because they joined another chapter? Constant dramarama with other sorority women is never a good thing to have in a chapter. And on the bright side -- they might be disappointed initially but deal and you'll have made some friends in Alpha too.

Best of luck to you, and try not to worry. You're overanalyzing it a little bit... it's totally normal given the uncertainty of being a second time around PNM but I think you'll be okay if you relax a little. I bet most of your fears will end up being unfounded.

ETA: FABULOUS advice, AXiDGirl.

[prospective88]

Thank for all the help you guys! i will def be sure to tell you how it goes!

[prospective88]

hey you guys! my rush is beginning in two weeks and i have a quick question. even if a sorority invites you to come out to their informal rush events, is it bad to go to all of them. Like will it make me look desperate if i go to every single event a certain sorority is hosting? i am a little confused as to how to go about informal rush :\

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by prospective88

hey you guys! my rush is beginning in two weeks and i have a quick question. even if a sorority invites you to come out to their informal rush events, is it bad to go to all of them. Like will it make me look desperate if i go to every single event a certain sorority is hosting? i am a little confused as to how to go about informal rush :\

Go to every event you can if you really love one chapter. That way you'll get to talk to different sisters everytime and they'll get to know you. As we all know, and you've seen, formal recruitment is tough because most of the chapter has to go on the word of the 1 or 2 girls who met you and talked with you for 20 minutes.
It doesn't look desperate at all, it means you're taking a real interest in their sisterhood. I'd be flattered if a PNM (who was normal!) came to all our events because she loved my chapter so much.

[BSCAXO]

I actually have a different perspective. I went through as a freshman, preffed my "fav" and two others. At the encouragement of my Rho Chi, rankes all three and got my third choice. I wasn't happy with it and she was kind enough to come let me know ahead of time that I was offered my third--which I declined.

Open rush was not reall common except for the two that were my "two others" so it was pointless.

I actually went through rush again as a sophomore and had a GREAT time. It was awkward going in the house I declined but they were very professional about it. They dropped me of course.

I had really good friends in all of the others (went to the lake in the summer between, etc) and it doesn't mean much I'll tell you. The ones you know only have one vote each. I pledged one that I didn't know much about my freshman year but that was SO great and fun. It was totally meant to be. I was actually living with three of them while rushing my sophomore year (which believe it or not we didn't cheat until the night before bid day they told me I was in) and it was SO SO SO fun running up the hill to them.

ANYWAY, sophomore rush isn't necessarily doom and gloom as I ended up with what I thought was a much better sorority than I would have with open rush.

Hope this helps!