Married women can't join sororities???

CarolinaCutie · #1 07-28-2007, 11:09 AM

It honestly depends on the competitiveness of the recruitment and the attitude of the chapter. If it's a highly competitive recruitment, I would think that the general idea would be, "Yeah she's A, B, and C, but we have lots of girls who are A, B, and C who are NOT married." However, I don't think the majority of recruitments work this way.

The chapter may have misconceptions about married sisters, including that you may not want to fully participate in the social aspects of the sorority, that you may not have time to dedicate to their operations and functions, or that you are weird because you are married and want to join a sorority. (LOL I didn't say I believed any of those, just putting it out there.) So I would think that what you would need to do, during recruitment conversations, is do what you can to squelch those misconceptions.

At an appropriate moment in the conversation, you could mention your marriage, and then state that even though you are married, you still have lots of free time, you are still young and like to have lots of fun, you are looking for a way to get involved in college and take on leadership positions, your husband is really cool and likes to have fun also... you know, whatever you think might be viewed as a potential drawback for you. No overkill- just mentioning it will hopefully do the trick. Some scrutinizing rushers may have more questions, and I'm sure you can answer those affirmatively, further demonstrating that you would be an asset to the org. Of course, some rushers will probably just smile and say "yeah" and change the subject. But in the end, that's all you can do! (just being your own non-weird self should get rid of that last misconception!)

I had a sister who was engaged when she pledged and got married in the middle of her new member semester- she also got pregnant and had a baby while she was on the Exec board. She added so much to the chapter and I would hate if we had overlooked her for silly reasons.

tld221 · #2 07-28-2007, 01:25 PM

a member is a member is a member. if you are down for the cause, you make time for it. single, engaged, or married, traditional, non-traditional. obviously, life happens too - no one is saying "you=XYZ, 24/7."

unless, at the ultra-competitive schools, that is how it is - you eat, breath and sh*t XYZ? someone be honest and say, "yes, my school is kinda like that" because i would imagine at a school where greek life is the law, there are chapters that are 24/7 on their grind and perhaps it wouldnt make sense to initiate someone who has other things in their life (ie. a husband, kids, their work/career even, if they run a business, or a full time athlete/traveller? caring for some other family member, etc) because chances are, they would almost never put the sorority first.

marriedPNM · #3 07-28-2007, 02:41 PM

I guess it just doesn't make sense to me when people say something like "Well, SusiePNM is married and would not have time for the sorority... because she's married." I have no idea why that rubs me the wrong way, maybe because that sentiment reflects some archaic idea of a where women should belong in the world. I am married and I am incredibly active on campus, not once has someone questioned my ability to particpate in XYZ organization because of something as insignificant as marriage.

I am pretty much boggled at this concept that I may get rejected for something so dumb, when I know for a fact I would be a dedicated sister.

If you do not mind indulging me a bit more, please keep the comments coming. Thank you!

dgdramadawg · #4 07-28-2007, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

unless, at the ultra-competitive schools, that is how it is - you eat, breath and sh*t XYZ? someone be honest and say, "yes, my school is kinda like that" because i would imagine at a school where greek life is the law, there are chapters that are 24/7 on their grind and perhaps it wouldnt make sense to initiate someone who has other things in their life (ie. a husband, kids, their work/career even, if they run a business, or a full time athlete/traveller? caring for some other family member, etc) because chances are, they would almost never put the sorority first.

At my school, there are chapters like that. There are also chapters that aren't. That's the nice thing about having 18... they all have different time commitments required.