Letters of Ref,help needed

AlphaFrog · #1 07-19-2007, 11:40 AM

Our form has a box to check that says "I do not personally know this woman, but she was refered by a trusted source".

I don't consider GC a "trusted scource".

SWTXBelle · #2 07-19-2007, 11:42 AM

I think the thing to do might be to contact an alumnae group near the poster and give them her information - to do with as they wish. I know that in the past we had alumnae who were associated with certain schools. So if a pnm from East High needed a rec, the East High associated alumna would network to find someone who knew her.

owlie33 · #3 07-19-2007, 02:43 PM

oh.... wow.

2 Questions -- isn't it to the chapter's benefit to have info on every girl going through recruitment? Wouldn't this help the chapter target PNMs and get to know them before recruitment?

Why not just point the PNM in the right direction, where she can meet an alumna?

33girl · #4 07-19-2007, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by owlie33

2 Questions -- isn't it to the chapter's benefit to have info on every girl going through recruitment? Wouldn't this help the chapter target PNMs and get to know them before recruitment?

Many chapters and Greek systems do not use recs at all. Some don't even have basic info (i.e. grades, class year etc) until rush actually commences as the women can keep signing up until the day rush starts. Plus, it's hard to "get to know" someone just through an info-only rec.

The posters who have been here for a while have been burned sometimes with trying to help people. Nancy Newbie might not see anything wrong with writing some nice girl on the internet a rec, or sending her to an alum, but the point is - she knows NOTHING about this person unless she's met her. I would hate to send someone a note saying "please help this girl" only to hear later she went through rush and was a total freakazoid.

The OP was told to go to family, friends etc - she came back 2 days later and said she had "exhausted all her personal resources." Take that as you will.

UGAalum94 · #5 07-19-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

The OP was told to go to family, friends etc - she came back 2 days later and said she had "exhausted all her personal resources." Take that as you will.

As I've said before, I'm not interested in working on internet recs, BUT we don't know that she hadn't exhausted those options even before she started the thread.

I think it would be possible for someone who had more of the milk of human kindness than I do, to find out the PNM's name and hometown, go to the sister search database on your website if you've got one, and email a couple of people who come up to see if they know the OP.

They may be women whom the OP has no idea were Greek or whom she hadn't had a chance to ask.

But as long as Nancy Newbie isn't an idiot, it could be done and perhaps done well. And if Nancy Newbie is an idiot, then it doesn't really matter what the rest of us think anyway; she's recommending questionable women for your org right now!

AlphaFrog · #6 07-19-2007, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

I think it would be possible for someone who had more of the milk of human kindness than I do, to find out the PNM's name and hometown, go to the sister search database on your website if you've got one, and email a couple of people who come up to see if they know the OP.

I have my name on the list for helping to find Recs.

I had a PNM send me a very nice PM asking for me to help her find recs, because she lived in one state and was going to school in a different state. I got in contact with BOTH the Alum group near her hometown AND near the school she was going to. I got someone from each group and gave her their contact info and her info to them. She started this process in May.

This is the way to use GC to get recs. NOT posting a list and hoping people come to you. NOT waiting until a few weeks before.

cuteASAbug · #7 07-19-2007, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

This is the way to use GC to get recs. NOT posting a list and hoping people come to you. NOT waiting until a few weeks before.

I get the feeling that katestar may be the first person in her family to go greek and did not know this. No one in my family is greek and if my school had required recs, I may have done the same thing. If my cousin decides to rush next year, I can warn her against it.

UGAalum94 · #8 07-19-2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Our form has a box to check that says "I do not personally know this woman, but she was refered by a trusted source".

I don't consider GC a "trusted scource".

Nor do I, but I wouldn't think that checking that box is what's meant by info. only, right? Or is it?

See, I'm not really selfless and nice enough to open myself up to writing a bunch of recs for people who I don't know at all and don't even know people who know. (I do write them in my community, and I'd offer to help chapters find them, but I'm not opening myself up to working for random strangers, sorry OP.) But if such a selfless person really did exist, I've got no problem with her figuring out how to do the info. only rec, or maybe more likely, using the sister search to find a person who might know her in her hometown. As so many creepy people here have apparently demonstrated, it's easier to find people in RL than we want to admit. And you could use that power for good, if you were willing.

AlphaFrog · #9 07-19-2007, 11:48 AM

Yes, it's pretty much Info only. It's meant for if your sister's best friend's daughter (for example) needs a Rec, and you're the only person she has a connection to, but you've never met the girl before. I would consider that a "Trusted scource".

katestar · #10 07-19-2007, 01:44 PM

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

cuteASAbug · #11 07-19-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katestar

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

If you're desperate for recs, I would suggest contacting Alumnae Panhellenics or former teachers/relatives/parents' friends. That seems to be the route that most PNMs take on here from what I've read. The problem with asking for recs on GC is that how do you know that people are who they say they are? What's stopping some psycho from registering a new name, saying they're an Alpha Chi Omega alumna, and pm'ing you saying that they could write you a rec, and voila! you just gave out all your information to a total stranger on the internet.

AlphaFrog · #12 07-19-2007, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katestar

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

You're not? Because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Also, that little key to the left of the "Enter"...that's the apostrophe key...aquaint yourself with it.

#13 07-19-2007, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

You're not? Because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Also, that little key to the left of the "Enter"...that's the apostrophe key...aquaint yourself with it.

Okay, you need to learn how to quit being such a snot.

If you're going to rip PNMs a new one for not knowing how to use the g-ddamn apostrophe key, maybe you should learn how to spell "ACQUAINT" first. While you're at it..."spesific" is spelled "specific".

It's okay if you leave a nice post here and there. Or here's an idea...how's about refraining from leaving obnoxious comments? Everybody will know you're still annoying.

The PNM's already stated that she's erred in her ways. What else do you want?

AlphaFrog · #14 07-19-2007, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

The PNM's already stated that she's erred in her ways. What else do you want?

She may have stated it, but that hasn't stopped her from continuing to persue it.

KSUViolet06 · #15 07-19-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katestar

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

I'm glad you understand that we're not picking on you at all. If you want to ask GCers for recommendation help, that's fine. Honestly MOST of the people on this site are nice and would be willing to help you (not neccessarily write them for you, but would help you locate someone at least). We were just trying to let you know that there are some people on this site who are not as nice as they are.