Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[honeychile]

I haven't been to one that was a total trainwreck, but if you put all of these together, you'd have one.

-The NPC sister who invited many of my sorority sisters to her wedding. The wedding was wonderful, but at the reception:
--There were cold cuts and jello molds at the buffet, with nothing else.
--The radio was played for the entertainment. The highlight was the disc jockey announcing that he understands that he's the entertainment for the wedding of Sharon and Dave, so Mazel Tov. Then he played "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights".
--The Best Man's toast included the old phrase about not buying the cow.
--Cash bar. Need I say more?

-At a sister's wedding, the soloist took ill the day before, so her stand-in appeared, without her knowledge. She sang so badly, you can hear her on the tape, saying, "What is that awful screeching?!!!" You can see most of the guests staring at the soloist in shock.

-I didn't attend this one, but my parents did. Our redneck neighbors (who have thankfully moved) had the standard firehall wedding. The bride's uncle wore his best t-shirt, stating "Boogey Til You Puke" in glitter. Said shirt did not cover "the Great American Crack Problem", and he wore a cowboy hat to match his t-shirt. I guess that means he was fashionably coordinated in his book. Uncle Bubba, who was a studly 350+ pounds, pulled a chair up to the buffet, got himself a fork & spoon, and ate directly out of the various bowls and platters. My parents decided that they weren't that hungry and left.