Faith4Keep's Retro Recruitment!

[sherbertlemons]

It varies a little from sorority to sorority and from campus to campus, but generally when a sister gets lavaliered or engaged, a candle pass is held. The sister will privately tell the chapter president that she needs a candle pass, and with my chapter they were generally held right after chapter meetings.

We would gather in a rather large circle, and a lit candle (fake, unfortunately) would be passed from sister to sister while we sang a Kappa song. The candle would be passed once for a lavaliere or twice for an engagment. (TrueBlueKappa, correct me if I'm wrong cause I can't count!)
When it arrived at the sister who the candle pass was for, she would blow the candle out. (Or in our case, turn the candle off.)

It's amazing how much less romantic a candle pass is with modern technology.

[lyrelyre]

Originally Posted by sherbertlemons

It varies a little from sorority to sorority and from campus to campus, but generally when a sister gets lavaliered or engaged, a candle pass is held. The sister will privately tell the chapter president that she needs a candle pass, and with my chapter they were generally held right after chapter meetings.

We would gather in a rather large circle, and a lit candle (fake, unfortunately) would be passed from sister to sister while we sang a Kappa song. The candle would be passed once for a lavaliere or twice for an engagment. (TrueBlueKappa, correct me if I'm wrong cause I can't count!)
When it arrived at the sister who the candle pass was for, she would blow the candle out. (Or in our case, turn the candle off.)

It's amazing how much less romantic a candle pass is with modern technology.

Our candle passes were very similar (we called it a "candlelight”), except that you didn’t have to tell anyone at the chapter. All of the florists in town made bouquets (just like a bridesmaid’s bouquet) with a candle in the center. They would deliver it to the chapter house and it would sit on a table in the foyer all day, so everyone would see it (and make conjectures all day about who it was). Then, after dinner, we would pass it (once around for a lavaliere, twice for pinning, and three times for engagement-they were very uncommon at my chapter for anything other than engagement). We sang our sweetheart song while it was passed around the circle.

People would talk all day about who it was – the flowers were always a clue because we would think “whose favorite color is pink” or “Doesn’t Sarah love lilies?” Ah, memories.

My favorite candlelight was a girl in the pledge class just below mine. Her big and her twin were standing on either side of her. When she was holding the bouquet for the third time they blew it out. Her boyfriend (soon to be fiancé) came around the corner in full formal military dress, bowed, drew his sword, and presented her with a gorgeous ring on the end of the sword. So romantic...

[alum]

US actives would type up a sign and put it on the bulletin board that there would be a candlelight after the weekly meeting. Once around for lavaliere, twice for pin, 3x for engaged. Ususally at homecoming there would be a apecial candlelight session. I remember the candle went around 4 and 5 times for marriage and expecting baby announcements due to returning alumnae.

[adpiucf]

This may be more particular to coming from a large chapter, but it always felt like we had 1-3 candlelightings after every single meeting! I often wondered how that many women could be getting engaged and lavaliered every week!!!

[sherbertlemons]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

This may be more particular to coming from a large chapter, but it always felt like we had 1-3 candlelightings after every single meeting! I often wondered how that many women could be getting engaged and lavaliered every week!!!

I remember feeling like that, too. There were definitely some months when we had a candlelight after every single chapter meeting!

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by sherbertlemons

I remember feeling like that, too. There were definitely some months when we had a candlelight after every single chapter meeting!

...still waiting for mine...

We actually had alumnae that would come back to our chapter years later to celebrate a candlelighting because of an engagement. I always thought that was a bit nuts, but as I'm getting older... I totally get it. haha

[sherbertlemons]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

...still waiting for mine...

We actually had alumnae that would come back to our chapter years later to celebrate a candlelighting because of an engagement. I always thought that was a bit nuts, but as I'm getting older... I totally get it. haha

I can totally understand that! :-)

What was fun would be when you would come back from summer break and there might be like 4 or 5. Everybody's like we have to do this AGAIN?

Ahh, the many joys of huge chapters.

[CrimsonBlues]

Originally Posted by sherbertlemons

It's amazing how much less romantic a candle pass is with modern technology.

We always went outside to avoid the ban on lit candles in the house. The honking of cars passing by tended to kill the mood on occasion.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by sherbertlemons

When it arrived at the sister who the candle pass was for, she would blow the candle out. (Or in our case, turn the candle off.)

Candlepassings were the *only* thing we still used real candles for (shhhhh). But seeing as we had maybe 1 every other year, it wasn't really an issue.

And the sister having the candlepass would decorate the candle and then slip it into the president's room [hopefully without anyone seeing her] and we would do the candlepass after dinner but before chapter on a Monday night.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

Candlepassings were the *only* thing we still used real candles for (shhhhh). But seeing as we had maybe 1 every other year, it wasn't really an issue.

And the sister having the candlepass would decorate the candle and then slip it into the president's room [hopefully without anyone seeing her] and we would do the candlepass after dinner but before chapter on a Monday night.

Ditto on the candlepassings being the only thing we used real candles for, but we had a few more than that. We probably had one every 3 weeks except for when we had a rush of them and then it was every chapter and even extra events like recruitment practice or something.

[sherbertlemons]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

Candlepassings were the *only* thing we still used real candles for (shhhhh). But seeing as we had maybe 1 every other year, it wasn't really an issue.

I'm from a young chapter. The fraternity kept a really sharp eye on us when I was in college, and so we couldn't get away with stuff like that.

What was really funny would be when the sister didn't know how to turn off the candle. You could tell she was trying to do it, but the light wouldn't turn off.

I love Kappa, and understand why that rule exists, but it sure can take the romance out of a candlelight.

ETA: How on earth did you guys manage to have that few candlelights? Would some sisters just choose not to have one?

[violetpretty]

We go outside for candlepassings.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by sherbertlemons

How on earth did you guys manage to have that few candlelights? Would some sisters just choose not to have one?

I know this question wasn't directed at me, but my chapter only had a few candlepasses in my four years there, for a couple of reasons. First, people at my school didn't "lavalier" or "pin" each other. Second, maybe this is a regional thing, but I don't know many people that got engaged in college. That's considered a young age to get engaged/married at now. My sisters had serious boyfriends, but hardly any of them would have considered getting married in college or right afterward. They were too busy with school, and most probably considered themselves "too young."

[sherbertlemons]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

I know this question wasn't directed at me, but my chapter only had a few candlepasses in my four years there, for a couple of reasons. First, people at my school didn't "lavalier" or "pin" each other. Second, maybe this is a regional thing, but I don't know many people that got engaged in college. That's considered a young age to get engaged/married at now. My sisters had serious boyfriends, but hardly any of them would have considered getting married in college or right afterward. They were too busy with school, and most probably considered themselves "too young."

That's true. It may be a regional thing. I always forget that the Southern part of the US tends to have a lower marriage age than the national average.

I just got married at the beginning of this month, and I'm turning 24 in a few days. By the standards of my high school, I'm a bit old- many of my old high school classmates already have children!

It's really not at all abnormal around here to be getting married shortly after college.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by sherbertlemons

ETA: How on earth did you guys manage to have that few candlelights? Would some sisters just choose not to have one?

Even though we had a somewhat larger chapter (85-90ish) few women had serious boyfriends that 1) were in fraternities or 2) were into lavaliering or 3) were ready to propose. Even now, at 28, I would say less than half my pledge class is married or will be married soon. (The big joke was that the class a year below us would all be married before my pledge class is, and I think it's actually going to happen!)

The coolest was when our House mom had one for when she got "reengaged" to her ex. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, as the case was) it was called off.