So why can't ex lovers remain friends?

[Quala67]

I was married for 13 years, and divorced 4 years ago. My ex-husband and I are still best buddies - even tho we live 2 hrs apart, we still talk at least twice a week. I'd do darn near anything for him if he needed it - except live w/ him ever again! (and he says the same about me)

I'm remarried - and not only am I friends w/ my ex, but since my current husband and my ex have known each other and were friends for 18 years previously, THEY are friends still!

In fact, last weekend, Mr. Quala and I held a Celebration Party (since we eloped in December) for friends and family....and you know who the dj was? (only b/c I couldn't dj my own party) My ex-husband!

Ya think I oughtta go on Jerry Springer or what??

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by Quala67

I was married for 13 years, and divorced 4 years ago. My ex-husband and I are still best buddies - even tho we live 2 hrs apart, we still talk at least twice a week. I'd do darn near anything for him if he needed it - except live w/ him ever again! (and he says the same about me)

I'm remarried - and not only am I friends w/ my ex, but since my current husband and my ex have known each other and were friends for 18 years previously, THEY are friends still!

In fact, last weekend, Mr. Quala and I held a Celebration Party (since we eloped in December) for friends and family....and you know who the dj was? (only b/c I couldn't dj my own party) My ex-husband!

Ya think I oughtta go on Jerry Springer or what??

nope...that just shows true maturity on everyone's part...better than being with someone who you broke up with and they act like a little baby because you moved on....

"if I can't have you no one can....booo hooo..."

[AlexMack]

I'm friends with a lot of my exes but my most recent ex has cut me off completely. He doesn't like people who drink and party and when I transferred schools I discovered that *shock horror* college is fun! Drinking is fun and going to a party is fun.
We didn't break up because of that, we broke up because our relationship had been dead in the water for six months and I finally worked up the courage to face it.
He cut me off because I realized that I enjoyed being sociable and started having a good time. Yeah-I restrained myself from drinking for the 18 months I was with him. I had a lot of catching up to do. So sue me.

It's a shame, we could have still been really good friends, we had a lot in common. It was his choice though.

[AGDee]

There is one ex that I remained very good friends with for a long time. However, he and I were friends first. There was always an attraction, but he was with my best friend at the time, which is how I met him. She ended up cheating on him but he and I remained friends and my friendship with her became strained. I was angry that she had treated him that way because I was close friends with both of them. He and I decided to try dating each other because there was definitely some chemistry there. However, we also found out, after about a month, that we were better as friends and went back to just being friends. He found a new gf and I started dating someone else. His gf and I used to drive up to his college to see him on Saturdays sometimes. I ended up falling in love with his roommate and the four of us double dated for my (and the other gfs) prom. I ended up going to the same college and stayed friends with Michael the whole time. It was most awkward when his roommate and I broke up though. There were occasional times, when we were both single, that we had to kind of fight the chemistry but we had such different expectations from a significant other that we knew we couldn't make a relationship work (eg. he wouldn't let his wife work ever, and I wanted a career).

I don't know if I even really consider him an "ex".. but more like a friend who I tried to date at one time, if that makes sense.

[AlethiaSi]

I am friends with pretty much all of my ex's....
my longest relationship, he was also one of my best friends. Two months after we broke up, he was with my real best friend. I was devastated and never thought I would get over it. Four months later, we're friends again, and I'm friends with the girl again. She and I will never be the same, but we're friendly (she's also one of my sorority sisters..... longggg story) He is still the same idiot I broke up with, she can have him but we're friends again, and I realize why we're not together.

so, i guess it is possible for some ex's to be friends.

[GeekyPenguin]

Ask cheerfulgreek!

Ask her what sorority she's in while you're at it.

[AlwaysSAI]

I once recieved a very useful peice of information from a person I trusted very much.

She told me that if there were real feelings involved, a meaningful friendship would never happen. The romantic aspect that was once apart of the relationship would always get in the way.

I have yet to prove her wrong.