Legacy

CZAXOTerp · #1 05-10-2007, 04:22 PM

When I was a sophmore & had just moved into my house, a 5th year senior's younger sister came thru rush. The sister hadn't yet determined if she was going to remain active or go alum, but as a 5th yr senior she didn't have to come to rush, so she wasn't there to rush her sister.

Her younger sister comes thru the house tour and sees a picture from a dated party of me w/ my ex-bf and points at me in the pic and says, I have friends in XYZ fraternity (same chapter as my ex-BF) and they say czAXOterp is a b!tch- or something to that effect.

The legacy was released that evening, only person who questioned it was an advisor- several of the 5th year senior's pledge sisters said czAXOterp is here, living in the house, 5th yr. sr. sister isn't here, rude legacy doesn't belong here either.

I don't know if this legacy thought she had it in the bag or what, but she was completely out of line.

Also I admit I probably broke the ex-bf's heart...

bejazd · #2 05-10-2007, 05:14 PM

Okay, calling out someone in the chapter as a b..... qualifies as having three heads and a tail! Note to PNMs...when you're at a rush party, if you can't someting nice, don't say nothin' at all.

Her sister would have showed up for rush if she cared whether or not she got a bid.

fantASTic · #3 05-10-2007, 08:20 PM

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

honeychile · #4 05-10-2007, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

No, but nor should she be strung along until Pref.

KSUViolet06 · #5 05-10-2007, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

No. I think she should be extended the cortesies that HQ says that she should get as a legacy. Past that point, if she just doesn't click, then she should be released as early as possible to avoid leading her on.

AlexMack · #6 05-10-2007, 11:25 PM

We had biological sisters in my chapter. The elder had already gone alum when I pledged, but she came back and participated in my class' initiation. A good friend and also an alum chapter sister of mine cannot stand the younger of the sisters. I never had a problem with her though. I think being a legacy is most likely a much bigger deal in the south (as it is with all aspects of greek life) so that could put a lot of pressure on a PNM.
If I had a daughter, I'd like her to go Sigma Kappa but ultimately I want her to be happy. (I'd be secretly pleased if she went AXiD as well because my sister-in-law is an AXiD). Why bother pledging a sorority that's not right for you just because your mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin and cousin's female dog went DEF?

ErinIsBadNews · #7 05-10-2007, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

My old roomate is someone I've always really admired. Both of her sisters were members of another sorority on campus. We got into a discussion about legacies one night. Basically what she asked me if I thought it was fair to give a girl a bid into a house where she does not fit? If there is another house where this girl would actually fit in and she joins our sorority is that fair to the girl? I don't think I'd want to be in a place where I had nothing in common with the girls, except the fact my mother/sister/grandmother is their sister. No one knows more about a chapter than the girls who belong to it, if the PNM doesn't click with anyone who rushed her, I don't think giving her a bid is fair to the legacy or the PNM who would've been a great fit.

33girl · #8 05-11-2007, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErinIsBadNews

My old roomate is someone I've always really admired. Both of her sisters were members of another sorority on campus. We got into a discussion about legacies one night. Basically what she asked me if I thought it was fair to give a girl a bid into a house where she does not fit? If there is another house where this girl would actually fit in and she joins our sorority is that fair to the girl? I don't think I'd want to be in a place where I had nothing in common with the girls, except the fact my mother/sister/grandmother is their sister. No one knows more about a chapter than the girls who belong to it, if the PNM doesn't click with anyone who rushed her, I don't think giving her a bid is fair to the legacy or the PNM who would've been a great fit.

You would hope the rushee herself would come to that conclusion, but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. Not to mention the problem some people have mentioned of legacies getting cut by other groups because they have to cut someone and they assume the rushee with the ABC mom, sister and grandma will go ABC, even if she's been hideously uncomfortable there. This would be one time where it would be really nice if you could see what is happening at the other groups' parties. (well, one of many, LOL)

ejay286 · #9 05-11-2007, 01:04 PM

Well my father is a member of Omega Psi Phi and my mother and both of my sisters are members of Delta Sigma Theta and they are loosely bonded together (not constitutionally lol

). But anyway growing up I was never really pressured to be an omega by any of my family but I always wanted to be. I think if my father would have pressured me my whole life to do it then I would have been less interested but since he let me go my own way I was much more enthusiastic about becoming an omega. (I am the owtest neo you will ever meet

). If I would have chosen something else I think they would have been disappointed but they never told me that.

Leslie Anne · #10 05-11-2007, 06:49 PM

Many of you have said that unless the legacy is an obvious bad fit with the chapter she should be given a bid. I agree, but I'm wondering about what you would all think about a situation that occured at my chapter.

We had a legacy come through whose older sister was an active member of the chapter -- she had just been initiated the year before. I think it's even more important to give that type of legacy due consideration. Well, she was cut. She was a rather large girl.

She didn't pledge any sorority at all and I don't think it was her size either. There were 17 other chapters on campus and I'm sure she could have been bid. I think she was just too devastated to continue with Recruitment. So, in this case, the pressure to pledge her legacy group was way too much for her.

Personally, I thought cutting the girl was wrong and it ended up being the second to the last straw before I ended up taking alumna status. What would you have done or thought about the situation?

Drolefille · #11 05-11-2007, 07:07 PM

Based on what you've said, it's incredibly inappropriate and I would have said something.

xoheatherxo · #12 05-11-2007, 08:26 PM

leslieann--i would totally have said something. i dont think i could be part of an organization that wouldnt take someone because she was a "rather large girl". actually i know i couldnt be part of an organization like that. that is a stereotype of sororities that i thought we were trying to get rid of--that every girl looks and acts the same. we have girls of every shape and size in my chapter and im glad for that. id go crazy in a room full of people that all looked and acted the same!

33girl · #13 05-12-2007, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Many of you have said that unless the legacy is an obvious bad fit with the chapter she should be given a bid. I agree, but I'm wondering about what you would all think about a situation that occured at my chapter.

We had a legacy come through whose older sister was an active member of the chapter -- she had just been initiated the year before. I think it's even more important to give that type of legacy due consideration. Well, she was cut. She was a rather large girl.

She didn't pledge any sorority at all and I don't think it was her size either. There were 17 other chapters on campus and I'm sure she could have been bid. I think she was just too devastated to continue with Recruitment. So, in this case, the pressure to pledge her legacy group was way too much for her.

Personally, I thought cutting the girl was wrong and it ended up being the second to the last straw before I ended up taking alumna status. What would you have done or thought about the situation?

I think that's horrible. Especially the part that council (I assume you're talking about your chapter exec board/council, not your national council) and advisor didn't let the chapter vote. That's messed up in ANY bid situation, good or bad outcome.

Then again, if she would have been the ONLY girl in the chapter who didn't look like a model, she would have had to put up with the whispers behind her back of "She only got a bid because she's a legacy! Isn't it obvious?!" and that would have worn on her self esteem too. Especially if she wasn't able to make good friends among some of the other sisters.

Did her sister stay active?

nwu43 · #14 05-11-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ejay286

Well my father is a member of Omega Psi Phi and my mother and both of my sisters are members of Delta Sigma Theta and they are loosely bonded together (not constitutionally lol

). But anyway growing up I was never really pressured to be an omega by any of my family but I always wanted to be. I think if my father would have pressured me my whole life to do it then I would have been less interested but since he let me go my own way I was much more enthusiastic about becoming an omega. (I am the owtest neo you will ever meet

). If I would have chosen something else I think they would have been disappointed but they never told me that.

That's so cool! Is this common for people of BGLO's to be all from the same family (not just in terms of legacy, but couples who are both black Greeks who later marry each other)? Also, is Delta Sigma Theta considered like a sister sorority to Omegas?

ejay286 · #15 05-11-2007, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nwu43

That's so cool! Is this common for people of BGLO's to be all from the same family (not just in terms of legacy, but couples who are both black Greeks who later marry each other)? Also, is Delta Sigma Theta considered like a sister sorority to Omegas?

I wouldn't say it is overwhelmingly common but its not uncommon to see it either, and yeah Deltas are kinda considered a sister sorority but its nothing official, just due to founders dating and such. I also would say it is pretty common for members of BGLO to marry other members due to lots of times in college greeks dating other greeks, but of course it isn't always brother and sister orgs. My g/f of 3 years is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha and one of my sisters has been dating a member of Alpha Phi Alpha for quite some time as well.