Conduct Becoming of A Sorority Girl

James · #1 05-09-2007, 10:13 AM

We could call them, The Alphabetically Challenged . . .

TAC for short.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

You know, I've heard that before but for the life of me I can't understand how calling anyone a "God Damned anything" couldn't be considered offensive.

Maybe some people describe themselves that way but that doesn't mean that it's okay for Greeks to do it. No one in my chapter used the term. It was considered a lowly form of communicating. The word "independent" works just fine.

cuteASAbug · #2 05-09-2007, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

We could call them, The Alphabetically Challenged . . .

TAC for short.

I've always found that calling people by their first names tends to work pretty well.

CZAXOTerp · #3 05-09-2007, 10:24 AM

I find this all very interesting- it's funny while I was in school there was girl who was in Playboy (ended up being a playmate) who was in the chapter to one side of me, the chapter on the other side, had a member who "danced" at a gentlemen's club in Washington, DC.
Another chapter had a member who had a child- and the kid was in bid day pictures and I believe wore letters- it was somewhat scandalous- definitely was shocking to my 18 year old brain at the point (10 + yrs ago)- and I definitely thought that being an unwed mother was not your typical sorority girl behavior.

After I graduated a one of the sisters of my chapter got pregnant & gave the baby up for adoption. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her- they basically disowned her. My chapter took care of her, advisors gave her maternity clothes etc. she lived in the house during her pregnancy and was very involved w/ PH. I remember thinking it was bizarre and really not
an "ideal" situation, but then I thought about how she was surrounded by women who cared for her, had people watching out for her, making sure she ate well, etc. and I know now it all worked out...

but honestly when I think "sorority girl" do I think lamaze class? NO.

cuteASAbug · #4 05-09-2007, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

I find this all very interesting- it's funny while I was in school there was girl who was in Playboy (ended up being a playmate) who was in the chapter to one side of me, the chapter on the other side, had a member who "danced" at a gentlemen's club in Washington, DC.
Another chapter had a member who had a child- and the kid was in bid day pictures and I believe wore letters- it was somewhat scandalous- definitely was shocking to my 18 year old brain at the point (10 + yrs ago)- and I definitely thought that being an unwed mother was not your typical sorority girl behavior.

After I graduated a one of the sisters of my chapter got pregnant & gave the baby up for adoption. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her- they basically disowned her. My chapter took care of her, advisors gave her maternity clothes etc. she lived in the house during her pregnancy and was very involved w/ PH. I remember thinking it was bizarre and really not
an "ideal" situation, but then I thought about how she was surrounded by women who cared for her, had people watching out for her, making sure she ate well, etc. and I know now it all worked out...

but honestly when I think "sorority girl" do I think lamaze class? NO.

I've seen pictures on myspace where a girl from one of our chapters has a baby and the daughter wears little ASA shirts and comes to recruitment.

AChiOhSnap · #5 05-09-2007, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

I've seen pictures on myspace where a girl from one of our chapters has a baby and the daughter wears little ASA shirts and comes to recruitment.

Reeeealllllyyyy......

To each their own, I suppose.

33girl · #6 05-09-2007, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Reeeealllllyyyy......

To each their own, I suppose.

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

Would you kick your biological sister out of your house if she got pregnant? If not, then why would you do it to your sorority sister?

susan314 · #7 05-09-2007, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

Would you kick your biological sister out of your house if she got pregnant? If not, then why would you do it to your sorority sister?

I don't think the big surprise (for me, anyow) is so much that the sisters still stand by her, as the fact that the baby was at recruitment events. I have kids, but I definitely wouldn't take them to recruitment. (There are kid-friendly events, and then events that are not so suited for kids. IMO, of course.)

Though I am semi-surprised that a young woman with a baby would remain an active undergraduate member of the chapter. (Only because of the time and financial commitment involved in undergraduate sorority life - seems like it might conflict with child-rearing and school obligations.) Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the sister should be kicked out either! I'm just thinking that - if it were allowable according to the terms of that group - it seems like that would be an appropriate circumstance to allow someone to take alumnae status early. She would remain a sister, be able to participate in events, yet not have the mandatory event or dues obligations that come with being an undergraduate member.

I can't even imagine trying to make all the chapter meetings, pay my dues, etc. while also raising/financially supporting a child and attending/paying for school. Yikes! I'm not suggesting the early alumnae status thing as a way to "hide" or "shame" a sister who happened to get pregnant while in school - rather as a way to possibly make her life a little easier.

AChiOhSnap · #8 05-09-2007, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

Would you kick your biological sister out of your house if she got pregnant? If not, then why would you do it to your sorority sister?

Certainly not.

I was more commenting on the fact that I would think a very young child at recruitment events would be more of a nuisance than anything!

Like I said, if it works for the chapter, more power to them.

susan314 · #9 05-09-2007, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

After I graduated a one of the sisters of my chapter got pregnant & gave the baby up for adoption. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her- they basically disowned her. My chapter took care of her, advisors gave her maternity clothes etc. she lived in the house during her pregnancy and was very involved w/ PH. I remember thinking it was bizarre and really not
an "ideal" situation, but then I thought about how she was surrounded by women who cared for her, had people watching out for her, making sure she ate well, etc. and I know now it all worked out...

As you said, that's probably not the ideal situation. (Ideally, her parents would have stood by her.

) But how wonderful that the chapter rallied around her and provided her with the support she needed.

CZAXOTerp · #10 05-09-2007, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan314

As you said, that's probably not the ideal situation. (Ideally, her parents would have stood by her.

) But how wonderful that the chapter rallied around her and provided her with the support she needed.

Actually ideally the unplanned pregnancy would have been prevented...

It was wonderful that the chapter supported her when her family wouldn't and the greek system as a whole was v. supportive as well.

susan314 · #11 05-09-2007, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

Actually ideally the unplanned pregnancy would have been prevented...

Well, yes...I suppose you're right.

Perhaps I should re-state my orignal post to read that the second-ideal situation would have been for her biological family to stand by her, with the ultimate ideal situation to be that she didn't have to go through the situation at all.

(Though I suspect that the adoptive family is grateful that things happened the way they did...)

adrie435 · #12 05-09-2007, 11:36 AM

I think the way my chapter did it back in the day is a good medium..
We wouldn't kick a woman out for becoming pregnant, but we would ask her to go alum or inactive (depending on if she was planning to keep the child or give it up). I know to some of you that means the same thing but we had very involved alumnae so it would work. Our perspective on it was that she is moving on to another partof her life and would need time and money to focus on a child rather than her sorority commitments. She would still be able to have a supportive community of sisters and still wear our letters and claim affiliation, but would be able to devote herself to raising a child (if she chose). A pregnancy is a very tough experience (especially unwed) and a member doesn't need to be thinking about paying dues or attending all kinds of mandatory events during it.

As for behavior.... We signed a code of ethics stating that we would follow all sorority rules & state and national laws or we could be held accountable by our chapter-- Last time I checked, drugs are still illegal and I'm pretty sure every chapter should have a blanket no tolerance rule on that.