Sweethearts wearing letters?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by SxyLambdaLady6

I would not let anyone wear my letters, not even touch them. I was the one that earned my letters not them. When I crossed I learned that you never touch anyone elses letters, tikis, nothing like that because it meant disrespect. If you were a minority greek you would understand that but if you weren't and you touched someones letters it wasn't a big deal but if you did know about it some people would get mad if you touched their letters. To some people they don't care as much but you never know so you just don't do it.

When minority greeks say that they "earned" their letters, it def does not mean that they had to be hazed....it just means that they had a "meaningful" process....not making pledges bingedrink for weeks like some other greeks do...and also greeks say they earned their letters when they are paper. not saying im trying to offend anyone thats paper. what counts is how much you contribute to your chapter in the long run.

It isn't just minority or Divine 9 that feel like they earned their letters without being hazed...I wasn't hazed at all and I feel like I earn my letters every day that I work my butt off for them...which is almost every day. I think the main difference is that y'all probably do have a better "pledgeship" in that it seems minority greeks have the same respect for their organization as a whole right after their pledgeship that women in my chapter do maybe a year down the road (not all...but most, myself included, don't understand until they've grown up a bit). I think NPC gets a bad rap though. There are dedicated women in every chapter, people who bleed XYZ colors, and especially in the smaller chapters. I know I wouldn't consider myself paper, and won't after I graduate either...at the least I will pay alum dues and find a chapter wherever I end up...I hope to be a chapter advisor one day, though.

The no-touching rule is cool. I know we (and the fraternities) couldn't do it for all the shirts we sell and such...but I think it makes everyone then respect everyone else's letters all that much more. It makes sense, too. Random, but the thing that gets me the most is when organizations chalk the campus (not many NPCs do for the reason we don't...it's guaranteed that someone else will come along and write something nasty by the letters...but some of the guys and NPHC do)...I can't make myself walk over their letters, and the sidewalks aren't very big!

[fantASTic]

Wow, this surprises me on how strict a lot of people are on this. Our sweetheart this year was given a sweatshirt with stitched letters and "Sweetheart 2007" underneath it. He wears it, and it's cute. We love him!

As far as lavaliering goes..I was VERY surprised to see ThetaChiGuy being so upset about someone wearing his letters, since the QXs on our campus are very liberal with lavaliering here. One of our sisters got lavaliered after dating about five months, and she has letters from them. It's not uncommon.

Ohsass, I don't understand why it's okay for you to have a Lil Sis sweatshirt but not for a lavaliered woman to borrow a letters sweatshirt. Can you reason that out for me?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Wow, this surprises me on how strict a lot of people are on this. Our sweetheart this year was given a sweatshirt with stitched letters and "Sweetheart 2007" underneath it. He wears it, and it's cute. We love him!

As far as lavaliering goes..I was VERY surprised to see ThetaChiGuy being so upset about someone wearing his letters, since the QXs on our campus are very liberal with lavaliering here. One of our sisters got lavaliered after dating about five months, and she has letters from them. It's not uncommon.

Ohsass, I don't understand why it's okay for you to have a Lil Sis sweatshirt but not for a lavaliered woman to borrow a letters sweatshirt. Can you reason that out for me?

Personally I think there's a difference between a Sweetheart that the whole fraternity chooses and a woman who was lavaliered individually by a brother, whether or not the other brothers approve...the letters DO belong to all of them. My boyfriend lavaliered me, but Delta Chi did not...it was his individual choice, therefore it's not my right to wear a lettered sweatshirt, for instance.

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Wow, this surprises me on how strict a lot of people are on this. Our sweetheart this year was given a sweatshirt with stitched letters and "Sweetheart 2007" underneath it. He wears it, and it's cute. We love him!

As far as lavaliering goes..I was VERY surprised to see ThetaChiGuy being so upset about someone wearing his letters, since the QXs on our campus are very liberal with lavaliering here. One of our sisters got lavaliered after dating about five months, and she has letters from them. It's not uncommon.

Ohsass, I don't understand why it's okay for you to have a Lil Sis sweatshirt but not for a lavaliered woman to borrow a letters sweatshirt. Can you reason that out for me?

Fantastic, I see your point. So maybe the best way to explain this is that though I wore the letters, there was no question of my position in the eyes of the fraternity with "Lil Sis" prominently displayed down my sleeve in large letters. Therefore I was not wearing solely the letters without any other distinctions. There was no question of my position in regards to the Fraternity.

Another point that I've seen in this thread that I feel is a good one is that even pledges are not permitted to wear the letters. In my husband's case, their pledge t-shirts said "Delts" and not the letters until after initiation.

More food for thought, what if a girl wore a houses letters but was not lavaliered? What if a non-Greek college student was wearing a houses letters? Where is the line drawn? I think the point is that it is waaaay out of line to try to pass yourself off as a member of a group that you do not belong to nor have earned the right to claim affiliation to.

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by Ohsass

Fantastic, I see your point. So maybe the best way to explain this is that though I wore the letters, there was no question of my position in the eyes of the fraternity with "Lil Sis" prominently displayed down my sleeve in large letters. Therefore I was not wearing solely the letters without any other distinctions. There was no question of my position in regards to the Fraternity.

Another point that I've seen in this thread that I feel is a good one is that even pledges are not permitted to wear the letters. In my husband's case, their pledge t-shirts said "Delts" and not the letters until after initiation.

More food for thought, what if a girl wore a houses letters but was not lavaliered? What if a non-Greek college student was wearing a houses letters? Where is the line drawn? I think the point is that it is waaaay out of line to try to pass yourself off as a member of a group that you do not belong to nor have earned the right to claim affiliation to.

one more thought here...I was also lavaliered. I wore my necklace almost every day, it was small, not conspicuous and really only meant something to Greeks who understood the significance. The difference here is subtlety and respect.

Though I was a little sister, I also would not attend a joint function with another sorority at Delts out of respect for that sorority. Again, it gave the impression that you were trying to take a place that was not earned.

I was president of the Li'l Sisters and it was a rule I imparted that that was crashing. Though it wasn't a written fraternity rule, it would present an awkward situation for the Delts to explain. i.e.. "Oh, who is she? She's a little sister. Sure you don't mind them being here too?" The only exception was open parties or parties were Lil sisters were expressly invited.

My advisor husband is attending chapter tonight and plans to bring this up to "his boys". He is going to open it for discussion and follow their consensus. I will be sure to post their reply. By the way, I still have my lavalier and will be wearing it to our Founders Day Formal this weekend. Been a VERY long time since I've been invited to a Delt Formal ;-)

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Ohsass: That makes sense. But then would it be okay for a lavaliered woman to have "Girlfriend" or something written on the sleeve, or under letters?

I'm not trying to be controversial, just to see exactly what you feel is okay and not okay, so don't think I'm picking a fight!

Originally Posted by Ohsass

one more thought here...I was also lavaliered. I wore my necklace almost every day, it was small, not conspicuous and really only meant something to Greeks who understood the significance. The difference here is subtlety and respect.

Though I was a little sister, I also would not attend a joint function with another sorority at Delts out of respect for that sorority. Again, it gave the impression that you were trying to take a place that was not earned.

I was president of the Li'l Sisters and it was a rule I imparted that that was crashing. Though it wasn't a written fraternity rule, it would present an awkward situation for the Delts to explain. i.e.. "Oh, who is she? She's a little sister. Sure you don't mind them being here too?" The only exception was open parties or parties were Lil sisters were expressly invited.

My advisor husband is attending chapter tonight and plans to bring this up to "his boys". He is going to open it for discussion and follow their consensus. I will be sure to post their reply. By the way, I still have my lavalier and will be wearing it to our Founders Day Formal this weekend. Been a VERY long time since I've been invited to a Delt Formal ;-)

Ok - so Delt Hubby brought up the entire discussion of who can wear letters, aside from the stated policy regarding pledges it was agreed that:

1) event/fundraiser t-shirts - always ok whether greek or non-greek i.e. "DTD Relay for Life"

2) Sweetheart and Lil Sis - ok but with clear prominent designation stating "Sweetheart" or "Lil Sis" (point being whole fraternity voted on their status)

3) lavaliered or pinned - necklace/pin ok, but his letters on official Delt clothing meant for brothers - no way (includes his shirts or buying them herself at a Greek store)

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Ohsass

2) Sweetheart and Lil Sis - ok but with clear prominent designation stating "Sweetheart" or "Lil Sis" (point being whole fraternity voted on their status)

Do you mean biological little sister (such as TKE has badges for mothers and bio sisters)? There's no such thing as Fraternity little sisters any more.

[Ohsass]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Do you mean biological little sister (such as TKE has badges for mothers and bio sisters)? There's no such thing as Fraternity little sisters any more.

Is that so? Hum...truly none system wide or just your fraternity? Regardless, no I did not mean bio sibs. I took notes on what my husband told me so that is what I shared. He may have added Lil Sis for the sake of explaining the differences so I understood. But I guess what I'm seeing throughout this thread is that stead fast rules do not apply everywhere. It is all about what each individual chapter or approves.