what do i have to give back?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

In many chapters, the gifts you get from a big come out of her own pocket, NOT any sort of chapter fees.

I think the OP should ask her big, instead of asking it here. If it is something that has no value (i.e. written letters) or could not be re-gifted (a picture frame with her name on it), she may be able to keep it, as long as she doesn't have it on display. On the other hand, I can't imagine apparel being okay in any circumstances.