Destination Weddings

AKA_Monet · #1 02-27-2007, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterXO

I've thought about doing a destination type wedding if/when I get married. But I would want to still have a party/reception type thing at home for people who couldn't make it to the wedding. My thing is I'm just not into the big white dress, everyone staring at me part of a wedding so I'd want to keep to close friends and family at the destination portion of the wedding and then have a casual reception later. Thoughts?

Well we eloped, then had religious ceremony...

So for the religious thing, we never asked for presents, but folks brought us stuff they thought we'd like.

Then, my mom is psychotic, and we visited her ~4 months after the religious ceremony... She called herself having a "welcome home party" and said no presents on the invite... Folks still brought presents... They asked us what we wanted. Since I had no FHA Bridal Registry, I just told them Home Depot or Lowe's or Costco gift cards... I'd even do Walmart and Target cards...

That's how we got those ceiling fans in our house.

Ironically, my best friend and maid of honor was unable to attend my mom's party due to family issues. But she called me to ask what time was the reception--and I said like an idiot, "it's not a reception". She said, "yeah right"...

I think you have a nicely dressed event (if you do it that way) at one of the local gaming casinoes, buffet style and a room. No matter what you all do, folks will bring some kind of gift. Tell them you can't carry things and you'll get gift cards...

But you should register for those assholes that have to follow ettiquite... If you do, do what you both like... Or do donations to your favorite charity. A lot of older couples or 2nd+ marriages are doing that.

amycat412 · #2 02-27-2007, 03:52 AM

For what its worth:

None of my friends who have had destination weddings regret it.

Most of my friends who shelled out house downpayments to pay for traditional wedding and reception, no matter how wonderful it was, wish they'd taken the money and eloped/destinationed it.

It is YOUR wedding. You guys do what you want to do.

aephi alum · #3 03-18-2007, 02:13 PM

I didn't do a destination wedding, but part of me wishes I had. There are a couple of advantages. Your honeymoon starts immediately because you're already at your honeymoon destination, and (hopefully) you won't have to put up with too many obnoxious relatives and friends of your MIL that she insists *must* be invited even though you've never even met them, because they won't make the trip.

(Can you tell I don't like my MIL?

)

BobbyTheDon · #4 03-20-2007, 12:05 AM

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

KSUViolet06 · #5 03-20-2007, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

Aww. I bet it was beautiful.

OtterXO · #6 03-20-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

Married????

I never thought I'd see the day. j/k Congrats!

firecracker08 · #7 03-20-2007, 11:28 AM

Our wedding is coming up. And his family still acts like they dont' understand what's going on. What part of limit your guest list do you not understand? The best part is knowing that I'm doing exactly what I want to do and no matter where I take the wedding, he's coming with me!

risingstar · #8 03-20-2007, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firecracker08

Our wedding is coming up. And his family still acts like they dont' understand what's going on. What part of limit your guest list do you not understand? The best part is knowing that I'm doing exactly what I want to do and no matter where I take the wedding, he's coming with me!

This is exactly why we fled the country, ran all the way to Jamaica. The family alone is 95 people that we would have had to feed. And at the end of the day, when everyone is nice and full with big bellies, my bank account would have been deflated. No thanks.

firecracker08 · #9 03-20-2007, 11:58 AM

I swear there should be a category for people who you haven't seen/talked to in years. They shouldnt be invited.

This list should include:
the tax lady
the pastor of our church (he doesn't know my fiance's name and he's gone to that church his whole life)
extended relations from the country

PeppyGPhiB · #10 03-22-2007, 01:58 AM

I actually find destination weddings to be selfish, unless it's just immediate family invited. Most of the people I've known who've had them seemed to think it would just be fun to, say, get married on a beach in Hawaii, yet expected all their friends and family members to use their vacation time to fly there for the wedding. They didn't think at all about their guests and how sad they would be that they wouldn't be able to share in the special occasion. But mostly what I don't like about them is that they're a passive-agressive way of UN-inviting people to your wedding. You would like to have all those people at your wedding, but you don't want to pay for it, so you invite them all to your wedding in Hawaii knowing that most of them won't be able to make it. All so you can say that Yes, you invited Brother's Friend Sally, but she didn't couldn't make it.

My advice for people considering a destination wedding:

1. Invite a small number of people so you don't have a bunch of friends feeling obligated to go or sad that they can't go.
2. If you're doing it just because your guest list for a home town wedding would be too big, just CUT YOUR GUEST LIST. Get some balls. No, you really don't have to invite ALL of your cousins, even if you're Irish or Italian Catholic. Chances are a lot of those family members wouldn't be able to make it overseas for a wedding anyway, so what's the point of leaving town? Take a look at the guest list and set some guidelines for deciding whom from each side you will invite. My opinion: if you won't recognize/know them in the receiving line, they don't have to be there. Just have a small wedding! You can do it! Really!
3. Elope.

Jill1228 · #11 03-22-2007, 04:06 PM

Then again, having a big wedding can be selfish...

Why we did the destination wedding:
I had NO desire to go back to Virginia to have a church wedding. We are not religious and I stated before if my mom (or his mom) had their ways we would have the mass church wedding--not gonna happen

I suggested doing Peace Arch Park on the US Canadian border (near his family). He didn't want an outside wedding.

We looked at each other and said "Vegas baby!"
We didn't have to worry about keeping folx entertained.

We almost eloped. We got our license there during a trip in Jan 2001. We were both thinking "let's do it" but we didn't relay to each other what we were thinking.
When we told his mom we were gonna do Vegas, she got huffy and said "Well I am not going". We had 2 words for her:

"don't go!"
She did wind up going. My mother was all about losing her "Vegas Virginity"!

One person who should have been there wasn't...that is a whole 'nother talk show!

Everyone who was there had a blast. It was my aunt's last vacation before she passed away in the summer of 2002 from cancer

I brought a little joy into her life

So if some of us are selfish, so be it! I have no regrets!