What to tell a girl who didn't get a bid

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by James

So you were instrumental in her not getting in? It was personal?

Or are you just her friend who encouraged her to join (and then she didn't get in)?

Why else care?

Because when you have a small campus with a smaller Greek system, and most of the students aren't exactly pro-life, you have to care how you let people down. It's your reputation at stake.

Originally Posted by jessicaelaine

as for everyone else, thanks for all of your suggestions. but most of you forget that not every school and chapter is exactly like yours. .

That's one thing I wish people on GC would understand. People from different kinds of campuses will give advice and suggestions and then be shocked about the way your Greek system is run. I wouldn't give advice to someone with a large Southern campus's system.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

That's one thing I wish people on GC would understand. People from different kinds of campuses will give advice and suggestions and then be shocked about the way your Greek system is run. I wouldn't give advice to someone with a large Southern campus's system.

I can see this, but wouldn't it be helpful to tell people what your campus was like? The only info. on this thread about the number of groups seemed to be provided by other people.

I think you all are right that at a small campus like you described the members may be more likely to face direct questions from PNMs that would be hard to imagine other places. Having the standard line from James, plus generally being nice after recruitment, will probably go a long way.

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

That's one thing I wish people on GC would understand. People from different kinds of campuses will give advice and suggestions and then be shocked about the way your Greek system is run. I wouldn't give advice to someone with a large Southern campus's system.

Okay, now this absolutely absurd. Show me where these large Southern campus ladies gets shocked at how her campus does rush? If anything, the ladies who posted here showed some concern at her rush booklet/insert because it could possibly be going against NPC policies.

The consensus I got from this thread was:

a) Have a Rho Chi comfort her -- it's their job.
b) Membership selection is private, period. End of story.

(Fine, we didn't know that she didn't know what a Rho Chi was, but now she knows and knowing is half the battle)

If anything, recruitment at MY school is probably more similar to her campus than yours... so please don't paint us all with the same brush. THANKS.

[KSUViolet06]

During COB, when contacting a girl to let her know that she wouldn't be receiving a bid, our COB chair just said something along the lines of "Thanks for your interest in Tri Sigma, but we unfortunately won't be extending you an invitation to membership."

Most girls were just a little upset and were just like "okay thanks bye." If a girl was really upset and asked why she wasn't given a bid, she would just tell them that membership decisions were private and could not be discussed.

When you're giving someone bad news, it's hard not to hurt their feelings. There's no real nice way to say "You can't join my sorority." The best thing to do is start off with something positive ("Thanks for your interest in XYZ"), get straight to the point, and keep it brief. I would just make the section in your booklet brief and not getting into possible reasons.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by OTW

Okay, now this absolutely absurd. Show me where these large Southern campus ladies gets shocked at how her campus does rush? If anything, the ladies who posted here showed some concern at her rush booklet/insert because it could possibly be going against NPC policies.

The consensus I got from this thread was:

a) Have a Rho Chi comfort her -- it's their job.
b) Membership selection is private, period. End of story.

(Fine, we didn't know that she didn't know what a Rho Chi was, but now she knows and knowing is half the battle)

If anything, recruitment at MY school is probably more similar to her campus than yours... so please don't paint us all with the same brush. THANKS.

I didn't mean just in this thread, I meant in general. I had flashbacks of the conversation about wearing jeans to rush and all those other fun ones. I've met girls from her chapter (don't remember them, it was at a fundraiser given by her org from my campus) and I've heard a little about their Greek system since they're only an hour or so from mine.