dropping membership

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

What I don't get is when a member disaffiliates and still leaves Facebook/MySpace messages like, "Miss you, Big!" like they're studying abroad or something. You quit, she's not your Big anymore. You guys are still friends, that's great. Once again, she's NOT your Big anymore. That was one of the priveledges you gave up when you signed on the dotted line and gave up all of your stuff.

I have to disagree.

I had a sister-daughter who depledged. Years later, she still calls me mom because even though she no longer wanted to be a part of the sorority, I still took her under my wing and continued that friendship. She chose to quit for her own reasons, but there's no reason for me to tell her "you CANNOT call me mom anymore because you chose to quit."

If the disaffiliated member still calls em "Big"...just let em. They are friends, after all. It might be the best and only thing she'll take away from her sorority experience.

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

I understand the close relationship. I've seen some girls take it pretty far like saying things like, "Can't wait to meet the new additions to the family!" Once again, I do understand that the particular relationship you have with your Big is special, but you start crossing lines when you say things like that. You confuse people, especially when you're going around telling everyone else, "I quit because all of the girls I liked quit or graduated." If you didn't like the people in the group, why are you still talking to them like you're a member?! Maybe it's just me but if I don't like you, I don't talk to you. It's that simple.

Why all the unnecessary drama?

I could give two shits about what others may think or if they get confused.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

I understand the close relationship. I've seen some girls take it pretty far like saying things like, "Can't wait to meet the new additions to the family!" Once again, I do understand that the particular relationship you have with your Big is special, but you start crossing lines when you say things like that. You confuse people, especially when you're going around telling everyone else, "I quit because all of the girls I liked quit or graduated." If you didn't like the people in the group, why are you still talking to them like you're a member?! Maybe it's just me but if I don't like you, I don't talk to you. It's that simple.

If someone has to drop because of money or something beyond their control, then I can see why they would want to hold on to the group and keep up the relationships they had in it. I'd have felt bad back in college if one of my sisters had to quit, but I would have felt worse if she acted like we weren't friends anymore because she had to quit.

But if someone quit because she said the group was lame or she wasn't into it, then I agree that she should also recognize that she has to give up the benefits of the group and that she can't try to have it both ways. It's like she's saying "you all aren't fun and important enough to make a priority, but look at me, I'm still one of you." Uh, no. You could have been, but you chose not to be.

It just depends on why they dropped in my opinion.

And if you got kicked out, then in no way should you be pretending to be a member of the group.