North vs South

PM_Mama00 · #1 01-21-2007, 04:09 PM

If I answered "excuse me" to someone I didn't hear, that would be considered being sarcastic or being a bitch.

If I answered "yes ma'am/sir" to my parents, that would be considered as being sarcastic or bitchy.

I"ve found that if you call someone ma'am, sir, miss, etc they take it as someone being condescending towards them. There were these two girls in a restaurant the other day and they were calling the cooks (Mongolian BBQ) sweety and honey. It made me cringe until I realized they had southern accents.

I like being able to be myself around people and not having to worry if I used the wrong fork or if I should have called someone ma'am or miss or Ms.

SororChic6 · #2 01-21-2007, 04:15 PM

Yes, I've experienced the same reaction from calling people "sir" or "maam." They get offended because it implies that they are old. Also, I've had many occassions where I would let an elderly woman ahead of me on the bathroom line or offer her my seat and she would get offended from this.

AXO Alum · #3 01-21-2007, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

There's no regional difference. Rude people with no home training are everywhere.

I wish I had room in the siggy for this little gem - LOVE IT!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

There were these two girls in a restaurant the other day and they were calling the cooks (Mongolian BBQ) sweety and honey. It made me cringe until I realized they had southern accents.

guilty

I can't help it - when I call someone "honey" it isn't meant to be the least bit condescending. Of course I live in the south where everyone practically is a "honey" "sweety" or "darlin" -- to me, when I have gotten good service at a restaurant, or good customer service at a store, I always say "thank you, honey" to the employee. To me, I'm saying "I really appreciate you taking care of me in your store/restaurant/whatever" -- and if people think I'm being rude, then they are reading too much into it.

Now there *ARE* people (and gee, you can find them right here on GC probably post stalking as we speak) who say "dear" and "honey" and "baby" in a very condescending tone. I am not one of those people

As to the issue of "what" to a parent - my son (4yo) has been taught when I call him to say "what mommy?" - of course it isn't rude when he says it. I taught him this when he was younger & liked to hide without telling mommy he was hiding. After I realized that he didn't know mommy was scared when he "disappeared" I taught him that whenever mommy calls him (or daddy, grandparents, etc.) to say "what mommy/daddy/whatever". Now if he's in trouble and I ask him a question, he knows that yes/no ma'am better come out of his mouth

DSTCHAOS · #4 01-21-2007, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXO Alum

I wish I had room in the siggy for this little gem - LOVE IT!!

Your siggy is dizzying. Can my quote be put on a wait list?

AXO Alum · #5 01-21-2007, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Your siggy is dizzying. Can my quote be put on a wait list?

Yes, you can go on a waiting list... but you see, all those quotes in my siggy represent an important part of my life. Like my hair transplants - I am still waiting, and thanks to the snobs of GC, I have not yet had a referral for any of their salons. But I don't want to take it out, lest GC think I have given up on my journey to fulfill a lifetime dream.

I'll go see what I can part with so I can add your words of wisdom to it...

DSTCHAOS · #6 01-21-2007, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXO Alum

Yes, you can go on a waiting list... but you see, all those quotes in my siggy represent an important part of my life. Like my hair transplants - I am still waiting, and thanks to the snobs of GC, I have not yet had a referral for any of their salons. But I don't want to take it out, lest GC think I have given up on my journey to fulfill a lifetime dream.

I'll go see what I can part with so I can add your words of wisdom to it...

LOL...you're a trouble maker. Maybe I shouldn't be in your siggy.

DSTCHAOS · #7 01-21-2007, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

If I answered "excuse me" to someone I didn't hear, that would be considered being sarcastic or being a bitch.

If I answered "yes ma'am/sir" to my parents, that would be considered as being sarcastic or bitchy.

I"ve found that if you call someone ma'am, sir, miss, etc they take it as someone being condescending towards them. There were these two girls in a restaurant the other day and they were calling the cooks (Mongolian BBQ) sweety and honey. It made me cringe until I realized they had southern accents.

I like being able to be myself around people and not having to worry if I used the wrong fork or if I should have called someone ma'am or miss or Ms.

I agree that it's all contextual. I just don't believe that the Southern vs. Northern culture sets the context the way a lot of people assume that it does.

Much of this also has to do with tone, intonation, and how people learn how to interpret things.