Sexual orientation and MS

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

Me too. What does MS refer to, in the context of this thread? I'm confused.

Me three. My daughter has MS and I was like WHAT???!!!!!

[Stef the Pef]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Me three. My daughter has MS and I was like WHAT???!!!!!

Me four--I think my big has MS. One of the big baddies, anyhow.

re: membership selection, though--some of our chapter's best members were gay (not to mention some of our favorite "dagger men"). It's no big deal. And we're even in Texas!

[Kevin]

DUKyleXY:

That's a great list. Thanks for posting it.

That said, it's a common theme for organizations to say that they do not discriminate for certain reasons. In practice, however, we really do. I'm not saying that sexual orientation is or is not something which comes under consideration, but every chapter of every organization is unique in the way they approach these things.

To say that being gay and out would preclude you from many organizations is absolutely accurate. For example, my organization asks that voting members in the MS process consider whether the potential initiate is a man of high moral character. His sexual orientation in the minds of many brothers might play into that although, accurately, our High Council has pointed out that sexual orientation does not automatically preclude membership.

The bottom line is that while most chapters and organizations do not outwardly discriminate, the MS process is almost always performed behind closed doors under absolute secrecy. No member is required to reveal why or why not he votes the way he does in many cases.

One side of me wants to proclaim that it shouldn't be a big deal. The other side says that the people voting are 19-21 year old kids who are sometimes going to be very prejudiced for whatever reason. A gay/out potential initiate needs to bear that in mind and not have unreasonable expectations.

That said, I would highly discourage someone from keeping that part of his life secret. If you can't get into your organization as the real you, its' probably not for you.

[DUKyleXY]

I personally am Gay. I made the choice to come out to my chapter a few brothers at a time before I was even Pinned as a pledge. My chapter at the time had at least one man who admitted his homophobia and racism. For me, he and the other men I thought would have a hard time were the last to tell. I began with two of my closest brothers, ironically, although my family does not know, my father was in town that night. We (my brothers and I) went to Perkins and just talked about the problems I had been having with my dad that weekend, and eventually I let them know. From there I just pulled guys aside one or two at a time. I didn't need to tell a few who had already guessed as much, but they were glad I had told them. When it came to the homophobes, I was apprehensive, I did it one at a time with another brother there to support me. In the end it all turned out fine. I have obviously initiated and am well on my way to high positions in the chapter.

However, when it came around to summer recruitment seminars this past spring, my orientation was brought up nonchalantly. A few of the men expressed concerns that there would be potentials who would not want to join a house with a gay man in residence. Let alone room with one. This was a bit unnerving, however, I understood their point of view. We are at a school in the middle of Iowa. Everything turned out ok again!

So really, gay in fraternity MS should not be much of an issue. It all comes back to campus lifestyles and trends.

[mystikchick]

I'm intrigued that there are more fraternities listed on that list than there are sororities. I'm also really heartened that many of those fraternities have resources on how to react when a brother comes out to you, that's a great idea and a great way to increase sensitivity and tolerance while processing what for many is often difficult news to handle.

My brother has two brothers that are openly gay and I believe one that is bisexual. This did prove to be somewhat of an issue during their last recruitment as three of their nine pledges expressed discomfort over being brothers with openly gay men but got over themselves, and one turned his pledge pin in over the matter (but later wound up getting a bid and initiating in any case). How that situation has turned out, I'm not sure yet because this was at the end of last spring and school hasn't begun yet for this year, but I'm hoping that it doesn't get in the way of the chapter's unity (they're a small chapter and this latest pledge class essentially saved the chapter from near extinction).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by mystikchick

I'm intrigued that there are more fraternities listed on that list than there are sororities.

This is a giant generalization, but I think the women in positions of power in sororities are more likely to have a very conservative bent than the men in those same positions in fraternities.

[andrea981]

I agree with 33. I remember I was at a convention for my NPC org and a progressive girl from an Oregon chapter introduced a bill from the floor to change the bylaws to include sexual orientation in the sorority's already existing anti-discrimination laws. There were little old ladies that actually gasped -- no joke. In our sorority the alum chapters each have a vote equal to the active chapters, but because there are about 50% more alum chapters, that kind of keeps the sorority locked in the past a little more.

If it was up to actives only -- I'm sure that girl's bill (or motion) would have passed.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by DUKyleXY

I personally am Gay.

And here I thought I was the only one.

I hope you don't try to take any of my shine as the resident gay black hottie. Watch yourself, okay?

lol

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

And here I thought I was the only one.

I hope you don't try to take any of my shine as the resident gay black hottie. Watch yourself, okay?

lol

Do we need to bump up the "Ships on GC thread for y'all?

[Buttonz]

I don't know if SDT has an offical policy on it, but my chapter never had an issue with it and have several lesbian or bi sisters.

I can think of at least two fraternities, one at my first school and one at my second that have gay members and never had a problem with it. When one of my friends (second school) wanted to rush he came up to me and asked me about it because he was afraid that they would look down on him because of it (it wasn't hard to tell that he was gay). He wound up with his choice of two great groups and is very happy where is is!

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by DUKyleXY

So really, gay in fraternity MS should not be much of an issue. It all comes back to campus lifestyles and trends.

For being a fairly conservative ag school in the middle of Iowa, Iowa State is surprisingly accepting of gay members. When I was there, there were a few who were openly gay or came out soon after graduation (to no ones surprise) and to my knowledge, didn't have much of an issue. I'm sure there was talk, as there always is, but it got over pretty quickly.

[RU OX Alum]

we have a gay brother


i don't care at all if that's "cool" or not with our local IFC or our IHQ

[KSUViolet06]

I believe we added this at the 2004 Convention.