How soon do you get serious??

[Marie]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

I did a search and couldn't find this topic....say you meet someone and you're clicking on all cylinders...everything is working out perfectly...but its only been say 1 or 2 months into the new relationship....do you worry about societal standards for how long you should date...or what your friends/family think or may say about it...or do you follow your heart.....my friend is about to marry someone who she has known for 3 months....whats your take???

FYI: Here is a link to a similar thread. A lot of good opinions were given there: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...light=how+long

I have been pondering the same question myself. Although things may feel completely right, I think that it is worth it to give the relationship some time to develop. Its just such a serious commitment that you really want to do it right. Truthfully 3 months is such a short amount of time that there are lots of things left to learn about a person. I have to wonder if your friend really knows her guys stance on things like parenting and religion and finances. Does she know for sure that he will stick by her and stand with her if she fell deathly ill (God forbid) or became disabled. Do they both agree on how to manage elderly parents? Will the parents come and live with you or go to a Home. Are they both clear on what the marriage deal breakers are? infidelity? physical abuse? substance abuse? Have they discussed expectations on how to repair damage to the marriage when divorce isn't the preferred course of action?

I know that you can't cover every topic and know all things about your mate b4 you get married. However, there is a lot that you just learn and find out about your mate when you really give the relationship time to develop prior to getting married. For myself I have to say at least a year prefferably 2 prior to engagement. Given that your girl is moving forward, then she should at least go in knowing that there are gonna be some surprises and prepared to be flexible and deal with them. Best of luck to her and her marriage!