Is it normal?

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Is it normal to talk about suicide right after a break up? I wouldn't know, because I have never been in such a serious relationship. This person has not literally said "I will kill myself", but has definately alluded to it, more than once. At first, I thought she was joking, but she's being too persistant in her messages. I don't know if she's just expressing heartbreak (she's a very expressive person), or something more serious. I guess the answer will be "no", I guess my real question is how do I handle this?

If she says things like "I don't know how I can live without him" or something a little more colloquial like that it might be just a symptom of non-suicidal depression but you should still be wary.

Since you're saying she's being persistent with her messages, especially if they're of the "I don't know if I can go on living" variety, encourage her to get help at once or contact one of her family members immediately if she is unresponsive to your interventions.

Contrary to a popular belief, suicidal people will often tell people -- sometimes explicitly -- that they want to die before they actually attempt suicide. I know people always talk about how they never saw it coming, that the person seemed so happy, etc. but research on suicide has shown that's really not the case...most suicidal people will tell a few people about their feelings/intentions as a "cry for help."

From SAVE.org (a suicide awareness group):
"Almost everyone who commits or attempts suicide has given some clue or warning. Do not ignore suicide threats. Statements like "you'll be sorry when I'm dead," "I can't see any way out," -- no matter how casually or jokingly said may indicate serious suicidal feelings."

Warning Signs of Suicide

Talking about suicide.
Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
Preoccupation with death.
Suddenly happier, calmer.
Loss of interest in things one cares about.
Visiting or calling people one cares about.
Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
Giving things away.
A suicidal person urgently needs to see a doctor or psychiatrist.

If this applies to your friend, intervene immediately with her. If not, you MUST tell one of her family members or her doctor. I had a friend commit suicide in HS, and while this might seem extreme....that's where I'm coming from. Better to be safe, you know?