I don't think there's anything wrong with being a deb, I was one and it was actually a lot of fun. All of my fellow debs and stags were kids that I had grown up with and gone to school with for many years. In Omaha, if your family donates lots of money to different organizations, especially the Omaha Symphony (since they are the ones who are in charge of it all), you can be one. I took cotillion classes when I was younger and this was basically an extension of those, with some more fun events thrown in besides etiquette and dancing lessons.
Plus I loved my deb ball, getting escorted out on stage with my daddy and getting introduced (they introduce you by name, who your parents are, where you're in college at, and what sorority/fraternity you're part of if you're a member).
At the same time, I don't think it's a tragic ordeal if a girl isn't a debutante, her life will be just fine with out it. If it's something she and/or her parents want to do, great, if not, that's cool too.
My only complaint about being a deb is that I still have an actual wedding gown (we were required to wear wedding gowns) stashed in a closet at my parent's house and I have no clue wtf to do with it...
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