Your thoughts on AI: discussion goes here.

CutiePie2000 · #1 10-05-2006, 11:39 AM

I'll have b*lls of steel and name them publicly:

sagesofages sponsored adduncan for Phi Mu
GPhiBLtColonel did it for Cluey, navane, & houstonchica for GPhiB.
I've been approached via PMs for sponsorship multiple times and now I just delete them, so I don't have the names anymore.
TrojanGirl was sponsored into KD by another KD member on GC, but I can't remember specifically who it was. (edit: sorry: I was incorrect here. I've apologize for this here..and also later on in the thread. Thank you.)

I used to be more open-minded to women pursuing AI through their own recommendation but I am no longer and the whole idea makes me uncomfortable, due to the downturn of events. If someone's AI pursuit comes to a grinding halt, who am I to get involved and help get it jumpstarted again? Maybe those local women are saying "no" in a tacit manner (i.e. ignoring the PNAM, hoping they'll go away), because they know something that I don't.

And also, by tacit, I mean: implied or indicated (as by an act or by silence) but not actually expressed. By doing "nothing', they're hoping that the PNAM will take the hint and drop the whole pursuit issue. I don't think that this is very nice, but a lot of people are uncomfortable with confrontation.

valkyrie · #2 10-05-2006, 11:41 AM

LOL OH SNAP. CP, I love you.

blueangel · #3 10-05-2006, 12:10 PM

Thanks for clearing this up. I had no idea this was going on. I agree, it's quite inappropriate. I don't know who is more wrong-- those asking or those doing the sponsoring.

But is shutting down the forum the answer? I don't think so. The board does so much good. This is an unfortunate, but not unsolvable issue.

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

33girl · #4 10-05-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

WE DO! WE DID!! WE TRIED!!! That's when you start getting on everyone's case about "torturing" someone. Haven't you ever tried to break up with a guy nicely, that doesn't make a dent, so you have to resort to being mean to make him go away?

(Internally edited for exceptionally bitchy thoughts)

And how on earth can you say "the board does so much good" when it's AIs THEMSELVES who are coming forward asking for it to be deleted? You wanted a list before, fine. Turnabout is fair play. Make us a list of SUCCESSFUL AIs - women who have actually been initiated and are active in their GLO as alumnae - who want it to stay up.

Jen · #5 10-05-2006, 12:23 PM

I still think handling it as was mentioned earlier in the thread - directing women to the sororities and NPC women whenever someone requests AI info - a la the D9 - is the best way to go. That way they get directed to official sources and anyone on GC that feels the need to stick their heads in that PNAMs search may do so of her own volition.

And I've had sponsorship requests as well. They get deleted in a hot second.

blueangel · #6 10-05-2006, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

WE DO! WE DID!! WE TRIED!!! That's when you start getting on everyone's case about "torturing" someone. Haven't you ever tried to break up with a guy nicely, that doesn't make a dent, so you have to resort to being mean to make him go away?

(Internally edited for exceptionally bitchy thoughts)

And how on earth can you say "the board does so much good" when it's AIs THEMSELVES who are coming forward asking for it to be deleted? You wanted a list before, fine. Turnabout is fair play. Make us a list of SUCCESSFUL AIs - women who have actually been initiated and are active in their GLO as alumnae - who want it to stay up.

Yes, I've had boyfriends that wouldn't go away because I wasn't direct enough. That's my point. I've learned that the best way to tell someone it's not a good fit, is to say just that... not ignore them.

Why have people asked for things to be deleted on this board? Frankly, because some of these women have harrassed and tortured. They've been run off.

Rather than answer their questions politely, they're greeted with snippy, snappy, and rude comments. They're grilled about their reasons for wanting to AI. They're made to feel embarrassed for wanting to join a GLO. I think that's a shame.

33girl · #7 10-05-2006, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

Why have people asked for things to be deleted on this board? Frankly, because some of these women have harrassed and tortured. They've been run off.

Rather than answer their questions politely, they're greeted with snippy, snappy, and rude comments. They're grilled about their reasons for wanting to AI. They're made to feel embarrassed for wanting to join a GLO. I think that's a shame.

PLEASE LEARN TO READ WHEN RESPONDING TO MY POSTS.

AIs are asking for the board to be deleted because they're embarrassed about it - not because anyone "tortured" them!!

And if hopeful AIs were "run off" because of comments on a message board, then I doubt they would have been very successful in their AI pursuit. Or maybe they decided we were all just a bunch of bitches, said phooey on GC, contacted the sororities themselves, went through proper channels, and AIed successfully.

AND if there are AIs who aren't on here anymore because someone said the way they conducted their AI pursuit was not, shall we say, the best...then that just confirms what was said about them to begin with. If someone calls you on something and you don't bother to refute it, or explain it, then maybe it's because you know in your heart that they're right.

Kind of like my comment about ZTA not AIing very often so you really don't have to worry about who AIs into your sorority.

Oh, and I'm still waiting for that list.

AlphaFrog · #8 10-05-2006, 12:52 PM

Will someone please get blueangel a good working definition of "minority"???

If you count every GC member that registered, including the ones that have never posted and have usernames like "Spero" and "Mathis", the people discouraging Scandia and MBurden would be "in the minority"...if you count regular posters who are NPC members, I doubt I would consider those people "the minority". Plus, not posting opposition doesn't equal approval.

blueangel · #9 10-05-2006, 01:08 PM

Quote:

PLEASE LEARN TO READ WHEN RESPONDING TO MY POSTS.

Maybe you should learn write more clearly

.

You said "AI's are asking for IT to be deleted.." leading me to believe that you meant, "their own threads or posts."

Quote:

AIs are asking for the board to be deleted because they're embarrassed about it - not because anyone "tortured" them!!

I would be "embarrassed" too.. had I displayed some of the behavior that some of the people displayed such as making fun of their hobbies.. linking signatures that say "aspergers awareness" to an actual photo of someone, and making parody AI threads elsewhere.

Further, I am an AI, and I'm not asking for the board to be deleted... so please be more clear. Infact, a good number of the AIs on the list here on GC have not asked for it to be deleted. It is a small, vocal community which is wanting this.

Quote:

Kind of like my comment about ZTA not AIing very often so you really don't have to worry about who AIs into your sorority.

What has that got to do with the price of bananas?

Quote:

Oh, and I'm still waiting for that list.

Look on the GC AI list, and count how many AIs have been initiated.. and are complaining compared to those who are not.

greekalum · #10 10-05-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

What about encouraging people like MBurden and Scandia, who were clearly not good fits for AI, when the majority of people on the board are discouraging them? That's not cowardly, but it sure was cruel to egg them on in a futile pursuit.

blueangel · #11 10-05-2006, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greekalum

What about encouraging people like MBurden and Scandia, who were clearly not good fits for AI, when the majority of people on the board are discouraging them? That's not cowardly, but it sure was cruel to egg them on in a futile pursuit.

It is not for you or I to decide whether they were "good fits." It is up to the International HQ and the local chapter of the inidividual GLO to decide. I didn't see "the majority" of the board "discouraging" them. I saw a very small, but very vocal minority being extremely cruel to them.

ReachTheLimit · #12 10-05-2006, 04:18 PM

I don't want to post anything more than the fact that I have begun the process and the first contact has already been made and a first meeting has already been set up.

I will say, that I initiated the contact with this particular GLO, but when I sent National a letter, I also sent them all of the positions I had in college, what I was doing with my career, why I wanted to AI, and more importantly, WHAT I planned to do for them if I was admitted as a member.

I also said why I selected them, because there was a very particular reason, why they were selected.

As far as an AI forum, it's kind of in the same catagory with me for people who are anti-gay: If you don't like gays, don't hang around with gays.

If you don't like the AI forum, you don't have to "support" it on the forum.

Just my .02

CutiePie2000 · #13 10-05-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

I've said this once before: "part of being an adult is having the skill to "say no" to someone and do so diplomatically. If someone cannot say "no", then it's their problem, not the prospective alumna initiate's".

But some people are just flat out freaked out by confrontation in any way, shape or form (thinking of my Executive VP at the company where I work)....they cannot do it, and they cannot say "no" to someone.
So they take the approach of "if I ignore them, they'll go away". Sure it's rude. But it is the reality.

also:
I have no perfect answer as to how persistant a PNAI may wish to be. Persistence could yield results. However, in some cases, the more one persists, the more definite the rebuff may be. And that can be very painful and devastating.

Leslie Anne · #14 10-05-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

I'll have b*lls of steel and name them publicly:

TrojanGirl was sponsored into KD by another KD member on GC, but I can't remember specifically who it was.

She most certainly WAS NOT!!!

LouisaMay · #15 10-05-2006, 01:33 PM

I was just about to post the same thing, Leslie Anne. I think there is some confusion between TrojanGirl and trojangal. Trojangal and I have corresponded on and off, and I am certain that she was not sponsored by someone that she knew only on the internet. Trojangal is a KD. TrojanGirl appears to be a Pi Phi. I don't know her circumstances at all, and I am not saying that she is the person who CutiePie2000 had in mind.