Difficult question

[AGDee]

If this young lady isn't on the Exec Board/Council, she may not know just what help has been offered directly to the officers by the consultants either. I've also seen situations where consultants offer all kinds of ideas, but the officers (President/VPR) are resistive to new ideas/change/new ways of doing things (like COR). It's hard to know, as outsiders.

SockPuppet3, have you discussed any of this with the officers in the chapter? What are their reactions? Do they know the appropriate volunteers to contact to ask for help?

Having been an advisor or on our regional volunteer team for 18 years now, I can honestly say that a plea for help from a chapter is responded to positively, with as many resources as possible being poured into that chapter. The last thing we ever want to do is close a chapter, and when we do end up going that route, it's only after huge attempts from everybody to turn things around. But sometimes, if collegians aren't filing reports regularly, we don't even know there is a problem (since we aren't psychic!). I can also say that if the other collegians are having all the same concerns and fears that you are, then PNMs can sense that during recruitment and the chapter won't give much of a sense of sisterhood, so those things NEED to be addressed.

[SockPuppet3]

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I'll try to address some of the issues you've raised.

I'm not an officer. I hold a chair position, but all of us do - our chapter is too small to have all positions covered without complete involvement from the sisterhood. Some of us even hold multiple chairs.

I'm sure there have been discussions among the Officers that I'm unaware of. I don't mean to suggest that I'm completely in the know. I haven't had an "official" discussion with them regarding my concerns. I guess I feel like they have an obligation to share pertinent information with the sisters, and I've been leaving the ball in their court, hoping they'll fill the rest of us in soon. I'm still waiting...

I don't know what to do about our advisor. I realize that having a better advisor won't fix everything. But I have to think it would help. I've mentioned to the chapter that I think we need to find someone who will be more involved, but the general response is, "Why?" (I need to say that there are some sisters who recognize why, and they are with me on this, but it's hard to know who to contact, how, when, etc., and what do we say to our current advisor? "We're sorry, we want someone who's going to help us. Thanks, tho.")

It is just so overwhelming. I was hoping to have a group of new members to help with all this. But we're so busy convincing these girls they didn't make a mistake that we don't seem to have the time/energy to devote to the chapter revamping that needs to happen. It's just hard to know how to increase chapter morale, improve our chapter's reputation, successfully COB, go to class, eat, sleep, blah, blah, blah... There doesn't seem to be enough time.

I talked to my real life sister about what's going on. She put me in touch with an alum (of my chapter, not hers) from several years ago. It was really great to talk to her. She didn't realize things were as hairy as they are, and plans to help as much as she can. She's about 2 hours away, planning a wedding, working full-time, etc, so she doesn't know how much she can help. But, at least I feel like I'm finding people other than the recent graduates who are willing to help us with this endeavor. She's going to try to attend the closed meeting. (I still don't know what that is, but I guess I'll find out soon enough.)

[33girl]

Again, I'll reiterate what I said in my posts in your other thread.

It sounds as though (to quote the Shari Bobbins episode of the Simpsons) the majority of the sisters are "happy with things the way they are." If most of the sisters feel that way - and your HQ isn't closing you down - it's going to be very hard to change things. If things were as ghastly as you make out, I think you would have been closed long ago (especially since there's no issue of holding on to real estate). I mean, I would love to hear from someone else in your chapter as to whether they think they're having a good sorority experience. I just feel like I'm getting a really really onesided view here.

I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer, but unless there's a little something inside the rest of the members that wants to change and is afraid to - one person can't change a chapter.

Incidentally, did your chapter follow the things the alumnae suggested or not? Do you think you would have done better doing the opposite of what you did?

And OK, I'm adding more to this.

I'm just trying to imagine how I would have felt if a sister participated in her first formal rush after being initiated, decided it had gone terribly, and called up her bio sister (who's from a chapter higher up on the food chain than ours and who just kicked our butts in rush) and then went, on her own, without the rest of the sorority knowing, to one of our alums and told her that everything is a fountain of suck in the chapter. I think I would pretty much tell her to go screw even if she told me she had found the cure for cellulite. You may be doing all this with the best of intentions, but it's coming out all wrong. You said you hoped to have a group of NMs to help with all this - that just tells me that you've given up on the current sisters completely.