Difficult question

flirt5721 · #1 06-15-2006, 08:07 PM

Does your national bylaws say anything that can help you out with this situation? Or something about how active alum can be. I know that we have to get a formal invitation from the exec. council to attend a function or something if you are alum.

But most importantly talk with the chapter advisor and have her deal with the recent grads.

SockPuppet3 · #2 06-16-2006, 10:10 AM

That's another problem, and , in my opinion, one that has led to the recent graduates feeling like they have so much ownership in the chapter. Our advisor is pretty much an advisor in name only. She never attends events, meetings, and rarely even returns phone calls or emails from sisters. Due to her lack of involvement, our chapter has had to learn to manage on our own. So, our recent graduates feel like they are the ones in control. I can see why. I mean, they have been the ones in control for the past couple years. So naturally, they want to keep it. I guess I should look into getting help from our regional/national people. But, I don't want to get a ball rolling that could end up hurting our chapter. And I'm afraid that's what contacting higher-ups would do.

Ugh. This really isn't fun.

AlphaFrog · #3 06-16-2006, 10:17 AM

I guess the decision to be made then is, what's more important...having help from your recent alums, or running the chapter the way you guys want it run. I think that it's time to call in regional/national help. Otherwise, you're going to end up recruiting the same kind of women that you are trying NOT to get.

WhiteDaisy128 · #4 06-16-2006, 10:19 AM

Change the lock/keycode on the house and when they knock...stick them in the kitchen!

flirt5721 · #5 06-16-2006, 10:26 AM

How about talking to your President and Membership VP. Since it is recruitment the MVP should be allowed to make tell them that they need to step back a little. And the President should have a final say in the thing. Its really great that they want to help out but it is know YOUR chapter. They helped maintain it while they were there but it is now time for change and to start doing things they way the Active members want to do things. Kind of the way we do it at my chapter is that we take a chapter vote on an issue with Alum, then the President or some one from exec. talks to the Alum or sends them a letter.

If your Chapter Advisor is never around or doing her job, call your Nationals and tell so that you may get a better advisor that is actually willing to do the job of a Chapter Advisor.

SockPuppet3 · #6 06-16-2006, 10:31 AM

Regarding the chapter's advisor (I'm sorry to be asking so many questions), I might be able to find this out in our bylaws or something but I haven't looked. Does anyone know if someone who isn't an alum can be an advisor? There's a really great prof on campus who I'm sure would do a fantastic job (and I think she'd be really excited and interested if we proposed the idea to her). But, she isn't one of our alums.

AlphaFrog · #7 06-16-2006, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SockPuppet3

Regarding the chapter's advisor (I'm sorry to be asking so many questions), I might be able to find this out in our bylaws or something but I haven't looked. Does anyone know if someone who isn't an alum can be an advisor? There's a really great prof on campus who I'm sure would do a fantastic job (and I think she'd be really excited and interested if we proposed the idea to her). But, she isn't one of our alums.

I'm sure this varies from group to group. We had an adviser that was a Zeta, two ASAs, and one that was unaffiliated. Our bylaws say that only the Ritual Adviser MUST be an ASA, and some other advisers are "recommended but not necessary to be ASAs" and then we have a few that it doesn't matter one bit if they are ASAs or not. But then again, one ASA chapter can easily have 5 advisers.

adpiucf · #8 06-16-2006, 10:18 AM

Contact your regional director. If your adviser is not doing her job, then you need a new adviser.

A regional director, adviser or the alumnae association can address this issue with the recent alum who are trying to assert control.

Your chapter can also write a letter that thanks them for their support, asks for recruitment assistance (donations, volunteers) invites them to an open house before recruitment and reminds them in a tactful way that their place is with the alumnae. Something along the lines of "We're planning a number of collegiate-alumnae mixers this year so that you can get to know our new members! While we would love to see our alumnae sisters during these times, we kindly ask for your cooperation as we manage the day-to-day operations of our chapter. In doing so, we respectfully request that alumnae attend chapter functions and meetings only at the invitation of the chapter executive board. We do appreciate your support and thank you for entrusting us with your legacy."

Sometimes, you just have to spell it out. There will be some grumblings, but they'll get the hint. We had to do this a few years back when alumnae started showing up at recruitment to help out. The chapter sent an email around saying that while we appreciated all of the offers to help, we were running into some logistical issues that risked impairing our recruitment efforts due to the alumnae! The last thing the alum wanted to do was hurt recruitment. They backed off and the chapter set a rule that you had to be a dues-paying member of the local alumnae association just to volunteer and then be approved by the recruitment team. Then again, our chapter has always had a rule that alumnae may attend chapter meetings, etc., by invitiation only (exec board, not Susie Q. member).

33girl · #9 06-16-2006, 10:21 AM

We had the in name only advisor too, but it still didn't make the alums come back and try to run rush. I don't think that is the problem. The problem is that the alums need to let go and move on, and that's something they have to find out for themselves. (Yipes, I sound like Glinda the good witch)

Are they actually coming to parties and such? If so, make Panhel the bad guy and say the other sororities are complaining about all the "extra help" you're gettting. Even if they're not coming to parties, you can try that - say the school has said it's a risk management issue because they're no longer students and not insured or something.

SockPuppet3 · #10 06-16-2006, 10:28 AM

33girl,

Since rush hasn't started, I don't know if they'll come to the parties or not. It sure seems like they're planning to. Right now, our problem is that they're planning to come to our summer workshops. We're afraid they'll be like, "Don't do THAT skit, do this one instead" and "No, Kelly should do this and Sara should do that, not the other way around." We just want a chance to make our own decisions, and if they're at our planning meetings, they'll end up taking over.

tunatartare · #11 06-16-2006, 10:30 AM

If they are planning on coming to recruitment parties, then I suggest you do what Sheila said and let them know that Panhel is "discouraging" it and that it makes the sorority look bad. Other than that, all that I can think of really is to just keep them out of the loop. When they ask about when meetings and such are just be like "oh we haven't figured it out yet" or "we're not sure yet."

AlphaFrog · #12 06-16-2006, 10:32 AM

When they say "Don't do this skit, do that one", what's forcing you to listen to them??? Tell them that you appreciate their input, but the Exec Board/President/Rush Chair has already decided on the one you are doing.

tunatartare · #13 06-16-2006, 10:36 AM

It would depend on your sorority. You may have to check with your national hq on that. But you can still ask the professor to be your school advisor. Don't most sororities have two advisors anyways? One for the school and one for nationals.

SockPuppet3 · #14 06-16-2006, 10:39 AM

Thanks for all your suggestions, everybody. I appreciate your thoughts.

I get what you're saying, AlphaFrog, about not being forced to listen. You just have to know these girls. They're the most demanding, persistent people I've ever met. And when they all get together, they're like some kind of unstoppable train or something. I know it sounds stupid, but they're just extremely hard to say no to. It's just easier (and much more peaceful) to say, "Fine. We give in."

Maybe the suggestion of lying about when/where our summer workshops are is the best route. Or, if they find out and come, we'll just have another one after they leave when we make the final decisions. It just seems wrong to have to do it twice.

Thanks again, everyone. I'm feeling better about this situation. At least now I feel like we have options.

adpiucf · #15 06-16-2006, 10:55 AM

I think you should shame them into apologizing.