Quote:
Originally posted by James
Thats a clever differentiation between dating and courting. 
Do you think that there are implied promises in behavior?
For example, many males learn courting behavior in dealing with females romantically . . . so even if he wants to just date, he may act is if he is courting because thats the way he has learned to behave.
Even if he makes some blanket comment like "I'm not looking for anything serious," would you agree that his courting behavior might be seen as an implied promise to a female even if its only unconsciously?
And thus color her perception of what the relationship really is?
If it looks like a duck etc etc, even if it denies being a duck . . it might as well be.
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You touched on an important point. If the young man SAYS that he is not looking for anything serious, then THAT is an important communication that the young lady MUST consider (
and accept as true). If what she wants is, ultimately, an intimate and exclusive relationship, then the two should politely part ways. She shouldn't expect that she will be able to change him or his attitude. [He is not a player if goes on to socialize with others, having informed her of his intentions.] If, on the other hand, he says nothing (and she says nothing), then she may be blindsided. That is why communication is vital as soon as, and preferably before, the level of intimacy in the relationship escalates.
In short, though I do think there
should be implied promises in certain behavior, I know that just isn't the world we live in today. For that reason, discussion is key.
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