Soror Abaici, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is unfortunate that we are unable to detect "tell tale" signs when we think we ought to. Maybe several organizations ought to have programmatic and educational outreach events to offer to various venues when folks are having these kinds of issues...
That means some of US
must come forward and confess our illness and not be afraid to say what the deal-y-o is...
I have Hypomania... Bipolar Disorder II. Most days I am even. Other days I go up a little bit . Many more day than I would like, especially when I my meds stop working, I drop. I have inconsolable feats of crying, because the "sun is shining" or other craziness my brain farts seem to manifest themselves as... Like, "nobody likes me" or "I'm stupid" or "yada, yada, yada". Sometimes, these thoughts turn in to, "it would be better than I am not here because I am useless to anyone..." Those are what I call the "negativity tapes" that roll around in my head...
When those bad tapes start "tracking" in my head, that is when I immediately start to call all the professionals I know that I can talk to. To get back on track with my meds, get new one if possible, and to get the appropriate cognitive therapy I need.
It was because of my religion that I sought help, actively... Romans 8:31-39... If I did not "hear" what God what trying to tell me at that point--I would not be looking forward to join His kingdom... If God did not put professional, high quality folks in my life and if He did not have some kind of important stuff that He wanted me to fulfill and if He did not give someone the MIND to discover some kind a treatment option, then, then...
So all of that crap some folks feed to the poor individual that is suffering in silence by using His WORD to not get somebody in this day and age help, what does Romans SAY???
Aside from many people of color being sexually abused, if it is truly a biochemical issue like it is for me, then I can tell you about the mounds of treatments paths and directions I pursued and what has and has not worked for me...
What are the "tell tale signs" of a person considering suicide?
Mine were when I completely shutdown and got really quiet after too much crying, anger, lashing out. When I was young, I did some unscionable thangs... If those things did not suppress my hurt, then I was actively arranging or having an action plan in place on how I was going to kill myself... It was never, step 1, 2, and 3... It was more like, "would I die if I jumped off this bridge?" Usually, I was way up--MANIC--like I could do anything, folks thought I was "good to go" and "crazy". Then I would fail some test (in high school and college) and my mood would drop, like the rug taken out from under me. Then, my thoughts would progressively get worse and worse in my mind... Until my ill conceived thought of suicide rambled thru my head.
As I get older, I have learned ways to supplant my moods and stopgap them before they get the best of me. Actively getting help and maintaining help has worked for me. Calling out my pain, giving it a voice to be released has worked for me... Also exercise helps me tremendously... The minute I feel a "breakdown" coming on where I feel I might shutdown--even if it is an inkling, I will cry to get it out and immediately call for help... The professionals will talk be thru some level of "sustainable sanity" so I can function at some level--like "taking a shower" and going to work and facing folks I don't like without losing it...
Comparing and contrasting folks problems do not work for me... So, I hope no one tells me, I wish I could have that problem... It minimizes what is going thru my head at the time...
That is just me and how I have had to struggle over the last 20 years with this illness...
I dare anyone with my similar background to "air their dirty laundry" just like I did...
If that stops some Black girl from considering suicide, then ASHE, AKEERAH!!!
I could go ON and ON... But for now, I will stop there...
I am only human and I will live my life for the best as God has intended it to be...
Takes one to know one...
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