jazbri,
Preach it!
You make some very good points in your post. All I can say is folks need to pick up
When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost by Joan Morgan. She discusses many of these exact issues. Specifically, she discusses the myth of the STRONGBLACKWOMAN. Let me clarify. She sees nothing wrong with black women being strong, but she does she a problem with black women trying to be superwoman, i.e. flexin' out of control, trying to do
everything for
everyone, except ourselves. It is, of course, extremely important to be involved, and to care about one's community, but STRONGBLACKWOMEN often do this at the expense of their own personal well-being and their intimate relationships often suffer. This may be because they subscribe to the philosophy that they don't need anyone and are not in touch with their emotions, because they are afraid to look "weak." So, jazbri, Joan would probably agree with some of what you are saying.
She also talks about the ENDANGEREDBLACKMAN. Women know what I am talking about, because everyone has heard at least one woman say, "Oh there are no good black men...they're all in prison, gay, dawgs, uneducated...." The list goes on. Joan Morgan also talks about how black men are seen as endangered because they supposedly have a rougher time in our society; they, more than the black women who is educated and "taking all the jobs", are being "oppressed by the man." What these beliefs lead to are a general idea that because men are so endangered, women should lower their standards for these men and not be so successful, etc. etc. (Joan Morgan points out that this is why you see some of the most on point sistahs with the most tired of brothas.) Women feel like they must settle because they really don't have much to choose from.
On the other hand, Morgan seems to say that women are
too materialistic and they focus on the wrong things when trying to determine who's a "good" man. (I've heard many men get heated over this one.) Women miss out on perfectly good men when they reject brothas on the basis of the job he has, or the car he drives, etc. etc.
On a personal note, jazbri, I don't think it's a question of a return to our more "feminine" selves - a woman how is successful and on point is certainly feminine! - I think it is more of achieving some sort of balance. People (Women) should put as much effort into their intimate relationships and their personal connections as they do into their professional lives and social contributions.
Sorry for the long post. I guess we both had lots to say!!
Peace Love and Progression
B.N.
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"I thought making a record and receiving some form of public affirmation would bring me the love I desired in my life, only to find that what I wanted no one could give, and what I searched for lived in my heart waiting to be discovered."
-Me'shell Ndegeocello
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