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OP how you decide to approach it is entirely up to you at the end of the day. The lens I am looking at things through is more of, if you have friends you're in contact with they can more readily get the information about AI for their particular group(s) since they are members. While your friends might not be able to give you explicit details they can at least give you insight to the process at least for the group(s) they are a member of.
I would try and perhaps get as much information that might be available publicly from a group's website. If you do have additional questions I would strongly encourage to keep the questions pretty broad. Like don't ask XYZ, what are the specific requirements to be approved for AI. It sounds like you're older than the average college student so I would hope too that you've had experience in asking broad based questions to co-workers etc. Each group is going to have differing requirements as you've already seen first hand. At any rate I hope that helps.
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