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Joining a colony is extremely difficult. When I joined mine, they revealed that less than half of the women expressing interest were accepted. They said they liked leaders, academic achievers, and women who truly wanted to find a home with the other women, so while I can't say that's what all colonies look for, that's what helped all of us join.
As for actually being a part of one, it is a lot of work, as all the other commentators have stated. Not only do the leaders in the group have to work on running the colony, but you and your sisters have to work on creating those bonds that other chapters have been nurturing for decades. I'm fortunate enough that most of my sisters are outgoing, but regardless getting to know them is a huge amount of work. You're not just getting to know one small pledge class, you're getting to know the entire chapter, ideally, and that's not even considering campus culture/other greeks. Plus you have to work around everyone else's schedules (which are extremely hectic since most of might not have intended joining in the first place.)
As scary or intimidating as this sounds though, I honestly feel like it was worth it. It is scary being a part of a colony, but the bonds you make as a founding sister are genuine. Like you said, no one feels pressure to "be" a certain way, because our nationals picked us because they saw something within our own personalities/goals. So if you feel like this is something you truly want to pursue, than go for it!
Granted, I do agree with everyone else. Check out the informal recruitment--maybe your home is among the two that you dropped from? Give them a chance, before you decide to go for the colony. Maximize options and make sure you didn't cut them off too soon. If you end up feeling that they also weren't for you, check the colony out.
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