Should I Re-rush/Colonize
 

More than likely, your sophomore status hurt you. That would be less of a big deal in the colony.

HOWEVER...

Successful colonies are ones who blend in with the existing chapters, not stand out. If "pumps, pearls and pastels" are the order of the day, that colony (if they're smart) is going to be the pumpiest, pearliest and pasteliest of all.

Unless it's a group that is appealing to a certain niche (like a historically Jewish sorority) who is ok with staying smaller, colonies don't usually bring in or seek out women who are vastly different than those in the existing sororites. A chapter can maybe go on that steam for a year or two (and usually at a smaller school) but in the end, women don't want to be in the "un-sorority sorority." They want to be in a sorority.

I will remember this quote forever.

If you were expected to wear "pumps, pearls, and pastels" and felt that you couldn't do it when everyone else was, this might not be the school or sorority scene for you. Do you still think you'll be at this school next year considering your family situation?

Those are good questions. Also, does the dress code for recruitment match what members tend to wear around campus? Or, was this the suggested code for recruitment only, to give women some guidance?

If this was just for recruitment, I wouldn't worry that you're compromising your identity or preferred clothing choices by conforming with the dress code. There are lots of time in life when we're expected to dress a certain way for a certain event (funeral, wedding, job interview, etc.). That doesn't mean we are expected to dress that way in our day-to-day lives.

In her defense, the school panhellenc might have a bit of an inferiority complex and think that enacting some rush straight out of the 50's will make them cool, then the sororities may be fully normal, non-pearl clutching girls who have to play the game for a week a year. And then go back to dressing like they live in some era approximating NOW.

If, however you do in fact go to an incredibly stuffy pretentious school (which is the only way I could describe that ridiculous dress code), then sorority life is probably not in the cards for you.

Regarding the issue with trying to find a bond like your biological sister, it is not going to happen. Ever. And you shouldn't be trying to find that. What you CAN find is a core circle of friends who are there for you in a pinch, understand your every day battles and can make you laugh through the tears. And lend you shoes ;)

What I would suggest is do both; look at informal rush AND look at the colony. At some point you will have to make a decision and you may not have all the facts before having to do so. As soon as you find a situation you're happy with, if they offer you a bid, I would suggest you take it. There is not a best or worst, right or wrong; there is only where you feel comfortable and welcomed, and very likely that will be at more than one place. So don't be that person who loses all opportunities because she can't commit to any. Best of luck to you!

In response to all of your questions, as I didn't want to give too much information regarding the school I attend since I don't know what groups may patrol these forums,

1. I attend a university in New England where absolutely no one dresses like this. Every recruitment year excluding this past one, PNM's wore university paraphernalia one night, dressed business casual two nights, and wore a nice dress on preference night.

2. Greek Life at my university is by no means a force on campus, with less than 5% of undergrads participating. It's not like at big southern schools where recs and head shots are required. I think I can say with certainty, being a sophomore definitely did not hurt me. The majority of PNMs were freshman or sophomores. We even had juniors rush in my group.

I also don't want to give off the impression that I'm some unorthodox person vastly different from girls in existing sororities. Not at all. I promise. I'm an average college student and I look and dress like one. Everyone on my campus looks the same. Really.

Not necessarily directed to the OP, but if the percentage of Greeks really is that small, how/why on earth is another national group colonizing? That seems extreme, even for the Northeast where chapters are a fraction of the size of SEC chapters.

Not wanting to out her, but let's say she's talking about NYU. The Greek population versus the total student population would be very small, but the system there seems to be strong and growing. And this would also be a good example of "what's with the goofy decision to make girls dress like they own shares of stock in Lily Pulitzer?" If NYU had made that dress code decision a lot of perfectly sophisticated, good match for sorority life type girls would be turned off.

Thanks for understanding. This is exactly the situation I found myself in. So I was really taken aback when the PNMs were asked to do this. I did try to conform and find outfits that fit the dress code and that I felt comfortable in, but kept getting frustrated with shopping since what was being asked of us isn't really sold in my area.

Again, without saying too much, this would also explain why we're getting a new chapter on campus.

"My options during informal are to rush an established chapter or join the colonizing chapter."

I haven't seen anyone say this, but "join the colonizing chapter" is not necessarily a given. Not everyone who applies is selected. You must put as much effort into getting a bid from a colony as you would from any other chapter, and work harder after pledging because everything must be done from scratch.

And this is part of why I would say consider all options. If you find a match with an existing chapter before the colony situation materializes, I'd take it, because you don't know what the future holds. But if you continue to be available when the time comes for the colony, then by all means take a shot. But do read the threads about colony recruitment and colonies. They are not like established chapters and you have to be willing to work hard to develop "normal" in the group. It doesn't just happen magically and takes smart motivated women to get it done.

Ahh, based on the last few posts, I figured out the school (99% sure).

I find it really odd that this school would dictate what to wear, and even more odd that failing to do so would affect recruitment success. Based on the unique school scheduling, I would think that second and even third year students would be able to find success throughout the recruitment process. This school has had a boom in the greek system over the last several years and this is not the only recent colonization. I expect that they will expand again soon after this next colonization if numbers keep trending as they have.

I expect that some sororities will be COBing currently (unless they've already filled their spots, as recruitment ended about 2 weeks ago if I'm not mistaken). My guess is that the next colonization will occur in the spring, as this is how the last colonization worked. In this instance, I'd suggest checking out the COB options available this fall, and the colonization as well. Since the new chapter will be participating in recruitment in the fall, you can always go through recruitment again next year and see all sororities.
However, since you mentioned being uncomfortable dressing in this way, perhaps looking for COB opportunities would be a way to meet the groups minus the pastels. The group colonizing here will definitely want to go the route of pastels and pearls if that is what the current trend is on campus, and certainly will not be jumping in as a non-sorority sorority.

Good Luck!

Oh, and when you do find your sorority home, fight to be the panhellenic delegate. I think it is a wildly under-appreciated role and wields a lot of power. Then you can be the voice of reason against these goofy rules.

This is definitely a good suggestion. In a chapter I used to advise, there was a woman who was selected to be the Panhellenic Delegate She had wanted to be President, but the chapter (wisely) felt that was not the office for her. I sat with her to talk to her about being the Panhellenic delegate, how every week she would be the face of Alpha Xi to the other sororities. The officers of the other sororities of course would know our President, but SHE is the one who would be voting on our behalf, speaking for us in Panhellenic, etc..... She put on her brave face and accepted. She TOTALLY ROCKED as our delegate. She dove right in, enjoyed the position, and really showed herself as a true leader in her niche. It was one of the best decisions the chapter made.

If you get the chance to do this, it can really be a way to become known across the Panhellenic community and become a leader in a wider way than just in your own chapter.