Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[SWTXBelle]

Yes, it's a year later - but I thought I'd mention (for Mystic Cat) that my Anglican-Use Roman Catholic parish does still publish the banns. I love the banns.

AND I can't believe I forgot my brother's wedding. My mother was on a jury the week before the wedding and really freaking out that she wouldn't be finished in time to have any time to do what she needed to get done. She got out one day early. The bride was nominally Roman Catholic. I was a bridesmaid, and during the rehearsal the priest told me not to bow my head "so much" at the altar. I told him I usually genuflect. THEN - my family is Episcopalian and we had been told their would be no communion. SURPRISE - we are going to have communion, which my brother cannot have. I now know that communion is standard, but we were told this at the rehearsal the night before. My daughters, then 2 and 4, were flower girls. Adorable, yes - wearing beautiful black velvet bodiced dresses with white damasked taffeta skirts we got at Neiman-Marcus. (As an aside - I had Cinderella, my youngest, in a stroller when we went to pick up the dresses. She had a corn cob on a stick and was waving it about wildly. Mind you, I made sure we were nowhere near any stock, but it was amusing to see sales clerks on the verge of tears as we winded our way through the store) but TOO YOUNG to sit through an hour and a half service. Upon seeing the bride in her very 90s gown the 2 year old started saying "Cinda-ella! Cinda-ella!" Again, cute. But midway through the interminable service, just as we were all about to lose our minds, Cinderella starts to take off her shoes. First one, then the other. She then sits down, plays with her skirt, etc., etc. Meanwhile, the photographer is everywhere - this surprises me, since my church at the time and now both allow only non-intrusive non-flash pictures. It takes FOREVER. By the time we get to the reception at a Lake Jackson yacht club (if you are from TX you know why that is funny) where there IS NO FOOD LEFT. I am starving - no food. Where are the bride and groom? They are off getting pictures taken in front of random yachts. We didn't get to spend time with them - they finally came in, got the all important pictures, and left. It wasn't a wedding; it was a photo op.

Gypsyboots is eloping in January. We are working on a reception later in the spring. THERE WILL BE ENOUGH FOOD.