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My two cents...a thank you note takes about 2 seconds to write, a few cents to mail, and down here at least, it's expected. I was brought up to show my appreciation for gifts or favors such as recs, and that it is rude to not take the couple of minutes it takes to write and send one. And in my experience, I'm hardly in the minority there.
As the OP said, it shouldn't be a rec-no rec factor, but it's just the polite thing to do...and she's right about it serving as a reminder. It can sometimes be both polite AND useful. My mother told me that my thank you note to one woman actually got me another rec, because she'd forgotten to send it over the summer since she was so busy.
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