If I could do it all over again...

[HopeForTruth]

Okay all...this is a hairy predicament.

I "joined" a BGLO organization many moons ago. I went through MIP and never, ever felt a bond. I did not finish my degree for personal reasons. I am returning to school, married and more secure. After all is said and done, I still love the initial organization. It was the particular previous members that I wasn't too thrilled about.

Is it possible to attend an educational institution, and try to attain membership into the same organization all over again...the thing is, I just don't feel like I previously deserved to be in the organization...so to this day, I have never worn letters, never let on to another member that I was a "member" as well, etc., etc.

Is it a ridiculous idea to try to earn my way into the organization a second time around? Or should I just stay "unknown" as I am now? Or should I seek out a mentor, explain my dilemma, and seek to participate after graduation on the next level?

Honest opinions please. I won't be offended.