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I think you're right about the limited rejection they get before age 18. My daughters and I provided several recs for a Bama PNM a few years ago. We tried to prepare her but after second parties, we got this call, "HEY! Some of those groups cut me!" She was horrified...her grades were great, she was gorgeous, she had super activities.
She also had great groups left on her schedule and we kept stressing that but all she could think about is that some groups cut her. She pledged a very strong Bama group and is now in grad school but she has probably never gotten over the shock of being cut.
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