Could I Fit In ..?

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by TexasPNM13

Hello, amazing Kappas!!

I want to be (one of) you!!


However, at the risk of facing rejection before recruitment has even begun, I must ask ...


Could I make it in a southern KKG chapter as an out queer woman with a girlfriend?


I'm a perfectionist. So, when it came to the prospect of recruitment I did my homework to find the perfect sorority for me. I researched every single sorority at my university and found myself falling in love with Kappa Kappa Gamma: their mission, their values, their causes. (Even if I founded a new chapter of an existing lesbian sorority, it wouldn't be as good of a fit for me. And frankly, I don't have that kind of time.)


But ... I did some research on the non-discimination by-laws for each sorority. Unfortunately, Kappa Kappa Gamma does not have any by-laws pertaining to sexual orientation.


Also, I tried to find some more-tangible advice about queer women in sororities via GreekChat though it just wasn't clear or relevant enough for me (I guess that's the Aries coming out in me).

Some Things About Me:
- If you saw me walking down the street by myself, you would never guess that I have a girlfriend.
- I am in love with learning and am graduating with a double degree (three more years). Semester GPA = 4.0, Cumulative GPA = 3.6ish. I know exactly what I want to do with my career.
- I love the environment and interned with a prominent environmental activist organization last Fall.
- I love art museums.
- I'm quite involved within my community (not just the gay community), love participating in philanthropy events and always will.
- I adore food.
- I am working on a business proposal for a cafe near my campus in 2011 (with a little help from my girlfriend, who graduated with a double major in Business and Marketing).
- I stay classy.
- Hooking up with sorority sisters is not on my list of things to do.


My Concerns:
- I knew sorority girls at my previous institution up north, but I hear that greek life in the South is a whole different ball game.
- Even if I could win my chapter over, I would be so sad to not feel included in my sorority at a national level. All the extra obstacles that I expect to face as a queer Greek at my new university would not be as worthwhile.
- I am moderately involved within the gay community. I've participated in womens organizations, picketed against Prop 8, volunteered at a couple other events, and plan to be involved with the Pride organization on-campus. While this is only a small part of who I am (besides mentioning my girlfriend, I rarely talk about my sexuality unless someone asks) and how I spend my time, I'm not exactly low-profile about being queer. Previous posters about related topics have expressed concern mostly when the GLB member wears their sexuality on their sleeve. Would this be wearing my sexuality on my sleeve?
- I'd be a little older than most of my pledge class. Would it be awkward to have a Big Sis who's younger than yourself?


I hope that wasn't too long. I normally don't talk this much about myself, but I thought some context would help. Any advice, ladies?


Sincerely,

TexasPNM13

TexasPNM13,

I'm not a Kappa, but I am involved in the recruitment process. Kappa is a great group of ladies and they have a great national organization. Perhaps you don't understand how the recruitment process works, but it is a mutual selection process and there are no guarantees that Kappa will invite you back or you'll even want to go back. What if you have nothing in common with the Kappa girls on your campus and fall in love with another group? Going into recruitment thinking you only want to be one thing is a recipe for heart break in my humble opinion.

There are lots of gay men and women involved in Greek organizations. I actually personally know many for what its worth, but most if not all did not come out until after college. I don't think that I would flat out advertise that your gay because a lot of people are narrow minded. Having said that unless you tell someone or have it listed on your application the sororities will never know. When you say this: Could I make it in a southern KKG chapter as an out queer woman with a girlfriend? Do you mean if you could make it if or when you become a member? I'm not sure even a TX Kappa could answer that for you.

If you want to go through recruitment at your university I would do so with an open mind. Good luck to you. You sound like a very nice articulate girl.