Kicked Out of My Fraternity. Did They do Something Wrong?

[MariettaPhiMA]

I apologize in advance if this is posted in the wrong section. I couldn't decide the best place to put it.

I received a bid from my fraternity spring semester 2009. I didn't accept it until about 3 weeks before the semester ended. Had I accepted it on time I would have initiated that semester.

After that semester I was academically dismissed from the college. It had nothing to do with academics. It was because of drama that I wasn't involved in but I was named as the source of it. However, giving me an academic dismissal allowed me to return to the college after being absent for one semester. Regular dismissal I would have had to wait 5 years.

I stayed in my college town and attended the local community college. This gave me the opportunity to stay connected to campus. The fraternity president met with the Assistant Director of Greek Life weekly during the semester. She was aware of and approved of my participation in greek life while I was not a student. She said that the only restriction was that I could not appear on official rosters. However, I was still bound by the college rules. I had to go to required greek functions, do study tables, etc. Our advisor was also aware of my situation as he and I had discussed the requirements of my re-admission. Of course, I also announced the problem to my brothers. They were very supportive. They also asked how classes were going.

I participated in our annual events, food drive, formal, Relay for Life, Make a Difference Day, and put in countless hours of community service. My car was even our homecoming float. I was nominated for Greek Council and IFC. I was elected to the third highest position in the fraternity and appointed to another position.

I was re-admitted to the college for this (Spring 2010) semester. However, the out-going Dean of Students decided that I shouldn't have participated last semester since I was attending classes there. I don't believe I did anything wrong as I followed the directions I was given. However, he spoke only of the past. Once I was readmitted I could participate again.

I have been working two jobs so I have only been at the required meeting this semester. I was removed from my positions without a word being said to me. I was just told at the meeting that another brother would take over. There were no new elections and the other brothers seemed confused as well.

I got an email from our new fraternity president saying that I needed to come to the exec board meeting to discuss my future membership in the fraternity. My grandmother passed away that week so I sent a message out on the listserv telling everyone. I got only one reply. It was from a brother on the exec board who said that he spoke for the whole fraternity and that I would be excused from meetings for as long as I needed to be.

However, the next week, immediately after chapter I received an email from the fraternity president saying that I had been given a one week extension and that I had failed to show up. Exec board has decided to terminate my membership. I was told not to come to meetings, events, wear letters, or come to the house. There was no reason given.

I emailed him back and asked if there was a reason. This seemed to come out of nowhere. Our fraternity is certainly not in a position to be kicking people out. We have only 7 brothers. I was upset by the cold tone of the email. It also bothered me that I could not go to events or go to the house. These are restrictions that would not be imposed on anyone else in the college community and it makes me feel that I am in trouble. It's unreasonable for me to have been required to be at the meeting but even if I were required to be there he should have told me. He seems uncaring about my loss. My grandmother and my family are certainly more important to me than my fraternity.

I have received no response whatsoever.

I noticed that everyone accept for our three new members, the alumni and my big deleted me from Facebook. It seems such a trivial thing to be upset about but it's the thing that hurts the most just because it's so trivial. And since they all did it they must have actually sat down at some point and decided to delete me. I wasn't just friends with these guys because of my membership. Some of them I have known for years. One of them I was the person he would go to to confide his deepest emotions. I just can't understand this.

I don't want back in. This is exactly what fraternity is not. I wouldn't go back if they begged me. I just wonder if anything did is technically wrong.