Quote:
Originally Posted by tld221
I think the bolded is where I strongly disagree-i find a problem with "learning to love your chapter." Hate to go back to marriage analogies, but it feels a LOT like an arranged marriage-the whole "the love will come later" attitude.
I think if there were less women joining chapters in hopes of "learning to love" their new home, you'd have less new members wanting to depledge. And maybe in the grand scheme of things, its a really small percentage of women this happens to. Not all women are going to get their first (or even second or third) choice. But to accept something you really didn't want, and then having to grow to like it... You want greek life that bad you'd settle?
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I think we're going to have to agree to disagree. I didn't "settle" for my sorority. It wasn't my first choice going in, but it wasn't a group so bad that I didn't want to be a part of it. And yes, I grew to love it. Looking back, I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing.
If a group was truly a terrible fit and spending four years there would be a bad experience - then no, it's better to be independent. But honestly, I don't think a PNM could determine a group was *that* awful just from three or four 30-minute interactions. If a woman truly wants to be in a sorority (as it seems the OP does) and didn't have really awful interactions with the sisters in question (which the OP didn't), I think she should give it a try.
I also think you're greatly underestimating the number of women who learn to love their chapter, but then again that may vary from campus to campus. All the groups on my campus, from the most to least desirable, have the same de-pledging rates (usually one or two women every year). If women were settling for less desirable groups and then dropping out because it was so bad, that wouldn't be the case.
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