Thanks Mystic for the blow by blow...
Simplyme--
I am responding in a place of serenity and solace. You need to take several deep breaths slowly... And find your breath...
There are 2 things going on here:
- Both of you are insecure personally and relationship-wise, which means you need to strengthen and buttress your own inner being before you move forward onto the "NEXT" relationship.
- As far as why he cheated, who knows, did you ask him?
People with personal self-esteem problems and insecurities often cheat. What they are trying to do is to find something/someone externally to validate themselves... The feeling of hurting the other person is minimized so much because all that matters is that "next hit"--like an addiction--same as drugs/compulsive gambling/alcohol. Similar brain chemicals are activated.
As a suggestion: I would put a 2 month no contact order on the EX. I would erase all contact information you have of him. That means myspace/facebook, IM, text message/cell phone/landline, answering machine/house address/etc., whatever, no matter what... This is your diet you need to go on to lose that heavy burden DEAD weight... And if he shows up at your doorstep uninvited, unannounced, call the police...
Next: Shopping/Spa Therapy... You need to get that sexy dress from White House/Black Market, with the High Heeled shoes Rihanna just modeled. Then get your hair/nails/eyebrows/bikini wax done. The object heerah is to look uber sexxxy...
Your activity: Go to the happenest club and buy a chardonnay and sit at a very prominent chair--sexxxily. And be very, very flirtatious... Your mode of attraction must be telepathic. If you are clueless as to how to work it, then you need to train yourself with like minded individuals to make that happen...
How to handle encounters: What that means, you don't hoe yourself out, but you be mysterious without going into detail. Answer questions vaguely and turn questions back onto them. If they ask for your number, you can do that if you'd like, but I would make it very difficult for them to speak to you. If they want to speak to you, they'd find a way... They find a way to get game tickets at the last minute, they can find a way to contact you sufficiently... The objective here is to have public dates arranged--i.e. meet for coffee in 3-4 days, meet at the library, meet in a public during daylight hours something relatively inexpensive... Ice cream is a good one...
If there is a fella you don't like, and you want to get rid of him--i.e. he has jumbled teeth, his breath stinks/he has BO, he's very drunk, he has an incomplete grillz, he just grosses you out--just start talking about Jesus and how He saves, and invite him to Churtch... LOL...
It's called recruitment for BF bootcamp... Be a creature unlike any other!
PM me if there are further questions.
Dr. AKA_Monet
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