Rejected

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by fonuconk

My university breaks down into trimesters, I recently rushed for a fraternity and received a bid. Then a few days later I got a call from my pledgemaster saying that they had a meeting and some of the older brothers were not there for the bidding and wanted me to "party with them to get to know them better" and rush again in the fall. Does this normally happen? Any advice to weather or not they were serious about this? Everything is kept a secret I do not know if they really want me back. I really wanted to join greek life and was majorly turned down and depressed by this. I couldn't understand, if they didn't want me why give me a bid in the first place?

Does this normally happen? No. However, it does. On many campuses, for an IFC bid to be official, it needs to be signed by the chapter (the president or rush chair or whoever is officially designated to sign the bid) and by the rushee (i.e. you). It may also need to be recorded with the college administration by a certain date or time. Some bids may need to be signed by the rushee by a certain time/date. Not all chapters - even at the same campus - have the same time lines. If one of these things were needed, but not met, then they may be allowed to resend their bid.

So were they serious? I would hope so. As hard as it may be to believe, there may be a "good" reason why they did what they did. If you are truly interested in pledging this fraternity, then I would suggest you talk to either the pledgemaster, the president or the rush chair. As you noted "older brothers were not there for the bidding and wanted me to 'party with them to get to know them better' ". Ask them what that means. And if you feel comfortable doing so, ask them your realistic chances of receiving a bid in the fall. Or at least try to get a better understanding of what happened. You may also want to talk with any other GLO members you know well (sorority women might be more forthcoming with you) and ask them if they know anything specific going on with this chapter.

Originally Posted by fonuconk

This happened to me and someone else. We were both given formal bids, majority of the brothers stood outside my dorm and handed me my bid invitation and had a big party for the pledges afterwards. A few days later is when I got the call. They gave out 6 bids and took back two. Is this even allowed?

It really depends on the IFC policy at your school. You may want to check with the Greek Life Office regarding the policy. If you are still interested in that chapter, I would suggest that you do not be accusatory toward the chapter at all. Word may get back and you might not receive a bid.

Originally Posted by fonuconk

Will that have an impact with other fraternities if I decide to rush again for another one? I'm scared they will trash my name and I don't want to go through this kind of rejection again. I just cant get it through my head why they would do that to someone. I thought a few times about calling headquarters and finding out more but I know I will end up hated by everyone if I did that. There must be some rule about this. I still have my bid card; it was signed by the sage and the rush chairman.

*Generally speaking*, it should not matter. But again it depends on the campus culture. When a chapter releases someone the way they did you, it more often reflects poorly on the chapter and not you. As such, if you elect to rush again at other chapters, I would not even bring it up. And by all means, take the high road and do not trash this chapter. If someone asks you during rush what happened, tell them you do not know the specifics but that you were told that the "older brothers" were not there during the bidding process so you had to wait until fall.

I wish you the best of luck.