Potential?

[DaemonSeid]

Ok...this is more directed to the ladies than the gents.


Hmmm......

My family and I were hanging out a few weeks ago and one of my younger cousins was mulling over a young man that liked her. They have known each other for about 3 years and she has issues on whether or not if she wants to try and be serious with him

Here is her set up:

She is 22, going to college in VA and thinking about transferring to one in MD, drives and altho she doesn't have her own car, her mom allows her to drive hers, she lived on campus for a year and moved back home to save a little money in case she gets admitted into her school so she could have her own place. She is also church going (her pop is a pastor) and talented.

No problem right?


He is 20. He can drive but does not have a car. Lives at home with his mom. Dropped out of college to start a small IT business (mostly something along the line of a GEEK Squad kind of thing) and so far, it's going pretty well and altho he doesn't have his degree yet (plans on going back to finish) he has A+ certification to do what he does and actually he is making a nice little peice of change from this and other little things he is doing most of which will help him pay his tuition when he starts back to school. No kids and no run ins with the law. Straight kid and pretty mature from what I have seen of him...

Now...her complaint is that he is not at the same level as she....LOL

1. He is younger than her, which means when she wants to go out to an 'adult' establishment...he won't be able to get in (she likes going to karaoke nites...LOL)

2. She is not comfortable with the fact that she has to drive them. And no, her Mom won't let him drive....LOL

3. She is about to graduate and he still has a ways to go, however I pointed out that at least at this point he is financially stable and has a plan of what he wants to do.

4. And of course the big stickler, while he does attend church and has doing so more because of her, she is not happy that he doesn't go more often.

Now we all did this to let her know that she is missing his potential.

Most people I notice when dating, they want someone that has 'everything right now'. Cool if that's the case...no one should really settle for less (especially if you got their equivalent coming to the table also) but just like playing the stocks, we asked her, is she considering the future with him if she likes him that much?

1. He does work and not only that he will be potentially self sufficient if he is trying to work for self and not make a check from someone else.

2. He may not have a ride right now, but if you figure in number 1, that may not be too far off.

3. Education is a fickle thing and it sounds like he will finish but he isn't waiting to finish to realize his dreams.

4. As far as the religion issue is concerned, that is something 2 people have to work on thier own and come to a compromise...

So........saying all that to ask this....ladies, have you been or are you in a situation where you have someone that may not have everything together but has the potential and IS IN THE PROCESS of recognizing it?

How have you/do you deal with it?

Are there any dealbreakers that regardless of what they are doing is still not enough for you to stay?

And be honest, are you one of those that wants someone to come to the table with everything matching or exceeding what you have?