Drop out or be persistent?

[Green+White]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Honestly, I'd agree with your chapter. Non members cannot be present during closed rituals, including children. That is a rule of your sorority. Can't you get their father to babysit or a family member? It is not appropriate to bring your children to sorority meetings or parties. You need to reexamine your priorities if you absolutely cannot get a babysitter.

Why is the pledging ceremony considered as a closed ritual? We don't learn any secrets of our sorority yet.

I have my priorities straight. My kids are well fed, have decent name brand clothing, and a roof over their head. My family and my kids' father live in a different city. Babysitters ask for too much money.

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

definitely agree. sorry green+white, but they're right. it's absolutely not appropriate for them to be present during meetings, and especially during a ritual. bringing them to a meeting every once in a while would probably ok as an exception, not a rule. what is the problem with getting someone to watch them? if you have the money to go to college and pledge a sorority, i find it strange that you wouldn't have money to hire someone.

That's the problem almost all of my money goes to tuition, sorority dues, food/clothing for my kids, and personal things for myself. After that, I do not have enough money left over babysitters when I go to sorority functions. I only use babysitters when I go to work, I can afford anything else.

Originally Posted by LPIDelta

hmmm.... I have had children attend meetings, and I was ok with that on an occasional basis but it can be a distraction. Not necessarily because your kids are not well behaved, but because the other women will make faces at them, wave etc. It can be a distraction.

In terms of parties and ceremonies--I would unfortunately have to agree with the chapter. Purely from a legal perspective, having your kids present at any event increases the chapter's liability. If something should happen to one of them, for whatever reason, that would not be a good thing.

I was once in a ceremony where a member brought her two children. They were well behaved, but the two year old was wandering among the sisters standing with candles. I just kept imagining someone backing into her or worse, wax falling on her. I should have stopped it at the time by taking her out and watching her myself, but I didn't want to make a scene. I did make sure that it never happened again, and that may have meant that sister had to miss such opportunities. Ceremonies and rituals are meant to be special, solemn times.

In terms of what you should do--that I cannpt answer. Did the sisters tell you that it was ok to bring your children before you joined? What is the likelihood you could find child care?

My children are not dumb enough to get burned by candles. I don't see that as a problem at all.

No, the sisters did not tell me it was okay to bring my kids before I joined, but they didn't say the kids were prohibited.