Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobellesis
Carnation says I should put my post back, so here's what I think. It hurts a lot more for your child to be hurt than it does if you are hurt yourself. If my daughter's recruitment had been disappointing for her, I would have been extremely negative and bitter. Her rush turned out great, (She's also a Chi O), but I remember being upset because she couldn't understand why she was released from a couple of chapters after the third round. I can entirely see why momto2 is so unhappy and confused. If my child was crying and feeling bad about herself, you'd better believe I'd be upset and mad. I'd also think all those girls were all nuts if they didn't want my beautiful, smart daughter in their chapter. Until you've had a daughter go through, you can only imagine how you would feel if your daughter was rejected, especially when you know that she is just as terrific as many of the girls who received bids.
|
Jobellesis, I respect your points and I'm in complete greement with most of them.
I think the reason I jumped in the fray in the other thread (and I would highly resent ANYONE characterizing my response to momof2 as an attack -- I felt I worded my response as politely as possible) is that I felt she was telling us that she was blaming her daughter.. or at the very least, putting undue pressure on her daughter who just was released from one of the most competitive and stressful recruitments in the country.
I very much understand and respect what Carnation is saying -- that none of us who haven't had daughters go through recruitment can really understand what it's like to be a mom in that position. That said, I know what it's like to be a
PNM and I can't tell you how heartbroken I'd be if my mom called me up after I was dropped from all groups on my campus and asked me if I "really tried hard enough" and if I "took this seriously" and questioned whether or not I belonged at my own college!
At the end of the day, no matter HOW heartbreaking a recruitment is for a PNM's mom,
it is the PNM that faces the rejection. If a PNM wants to tell her mom that's she's going to be alright and that it's "not a big deal" that she was cut, there could be myriad reasons for why she says that. Maybe it really isn't a big deal to her. Maybe she's humiliated and doesn't want her mom to worry. Maybe she's crushed but trying to put the whole thing in perspective. I feel horribly for the moms on this board whose daughters have difficult recruitments, but I really can't excuse a heartbroken mom if she says hurtful things about her daughter -- even under the cloak of internet anonymity and message board venting.
Threaded Mode
