Having a girlfriend and pledging?

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

You said to be honest so I will. You might as well make a choice right now. Either join the fraternity or dump your girl. The fact that she's put it in her mind that it's going to destroy the relationship if you join should tell you that she's going to dump you anyway because of her own insecurities. She sounds very insecure to me. Trust me, SHE WILL DUMP YOU if you join.

I wouldn't go this far. His girlfriend's concerns are valid and a little insecurity when faced with such a situation is natural and expected. I was the girlfriend of a fraternity member even though I also was greek and frats do have their groupies and there is peer pressure all around. So again, her concerns are valid.

To the guy who started this thread, just sit your girlfriend down and seriously express why joining a frat is so important to you and leave out any shallow, superficial reasons. If she's as important to you as you say, then do everything you can to assure her that you can be trusted and don't do anything to betray her trust. You should be fine as long as you don't lose sight of what's most important...so in other words, get your priorities in order. Now if she starts being insecure to the point where she is accusing you of things that she has no reason to, then you guys just have trust issues period and that will be a problem in the long run whether you join a fraternity or not.

Also explain to her that during the pledge process, your time will be limited but this is only for a little while and she should support you. Greek life can become a big part of your life, especially in undergrad but as long as you don't overdo it and neglect her, the time you two spend away from eachother can be healthy. I don't know how clingy your relationship is but both of you should have friends and activities outside of eachother. If she can, it might be a good idea for her to look into joining a sorority or some kind of group or organization. When one person is greek or has other things going on and the other person doesn't, this can cause a big problem.